While we remain freakishly unmoved by the plight of the Don’t Touch My Junk dude, there’s a fresh angle to the story that catches our attention:

Amid recent controversy over airport pat-downs, Americans For Truth About Homosexuality is calling for the Transportation Security Administration to institute some “common-sense, healthy ‘discrimination'” by banning “self-acknowledged homosexuals” from doing security screenings, “so as to avoid [passengers] being put in sexually compromising situations.”

We’d like to congratulate the previously unknown AFTAH for getting some pixels by piggybacking on the outrage over a thwarted pheasant hunter, as well as moving the story to a more absurd point where we’re more comfortable addressing it.

Anti-gay group targets gay TSA workers [Salon, via Lux Mentis]

Our guest columnist is a red-haired clown who offers delicious, long-lasting meals to the public, writing from Canton, Ohio.

As the election season is here we wanted you to know which candidates will help our business grow in the future. As you know, the better our business does it enables us to invest in our people and our restaurants. If the right people are elected we will be able to continue with raises and benefits at or above our present levels. If others are elected we will not.

As always who you vote for is completely your personal decision and many factors go into your decision.

The following candidates are the ones we believe will help our business move forward.

John Kasich for Governor

Rob Portman for Senate

Jim Renacci for Congress

Ohio McDonald’s Tells Employees To Vote Republican If They Want To Continue Receiving Raises And Benefits [ThinkProgress]

“California GOP gubernatorial nominee Meg Whitman spent almost $23 million in the first 16 days of October, bringing her total to $163 million, according to a campaign finance disclosure filed Thursday. Whitman still trails Democrat Jerry Brown by 8 percentage points.” [Politico]

A long time ago (1997), before Top Gear thankfully turned into a show that dropped pianos on Morris Marinas and played caravan conkers, they actually gave useful advice once in a while. Although this clip is 13 years old, the tips in it are spot on even today.

Trying to figure out who made that Volvo – I’m sure it’s another make and Volvo just slapped its badge on it. Mitsubishi, perhaps?

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“The president of the Big Sky Tea Party Association has been removed from his position and booted from the party after coming under fire for a post he made on his Facebook profile that implied he condones violence against homosexuals.” [Helena Independent Record]

“British Airways apologized to passengers after an emergency message warning they were about to crash into the sea was played by mistake… A spokesman for British Airways said an investigation was under way to discover whether it was human error or a computer glitch.” [AFP/Raw Story]