Comic Relief

“With Governor Daniels deciding over the weekend not to run, it is slowly dawning on the Republican mind that the party’s choice may effectively come down to Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty. This prospect produces a range of emotions running from disappointment to panic.” [NRO]

We must admit, it’s been a long time since we’ve read an alt-weekly — there are a couple in Sandy Eggo, but with the advent of the Web, well, y’know…

In recent years, we’ve discovered where Tom Tomorrow went online (and he’s moving to Kos next week), which satisfied our Toon Craving. But we pretty much forgot about Lloyd Dangle, another favorite back in the day. And now that we’ve been alerted to his cyberexistence, it’s only to learn that he’s giving up his weekly strip after twenty-two years.

It’s True [Troubletown, via Tom Tomorrow]

We interrupt the serious and worldly for what has been charitably described as the worst song ever sung.

This probably has already hit you across the face with a claw hammer. (10m Youtube hits in the space of a week. No words are adequate for that.) But, if not… I proudly give you… Rebecca Black.

Resolved: that whoever put this girl (age 13 if Twitterstan is correct) up to this — her parents, an unscrupulous producer, whoever — should (1) fork over every dime earned off this song, from whatever source, to the American Red Cross, and (2) be banned for life from the music industry.

Discuss.

How can you not love Christina Applegate?

So, yes: O’Donnell’s past dabbling in witchcraft is now a thing.  She spiked a planned interview this morning with the Love Machine that is Bob Schieffer at the last moment.

My guess at the next shocking revelation? Well, we already knew she rides side-saddle (she is a lady of quality, you know).  But my bet is on…. roasting children!

(Mind you: she still could win in November.  Delaware is small, and filled with banks and Fortune 500 companies willing to give true patriots their country back, at a slight discount, while still retaining a huge profit margin and a substantial ROI.  But, for tonight, the jokes just write themselves.  God Bless America.)

ADD: Let’s play another game… instapoll time, with responses in the comments, please:

If a guy already knows what pleases him, and he can please himself, then why is Christine O’Donnell in the picture?

[Note: responses along the line of “she’s holding the camera wrong” are not acceptable, on account of obviousness.  There’s already one obvious joke in this post; two are not required.  Thank you.]