Black Friday

We interrupt the serious and worldly for what has been charitably described as the worst song ever sung.

This probably has already hit you across the face with a claw hammer. (10m Youtube hits in the space of a week. No words are adequate for that.) But, if not… I proudly give you… Rebecca Black.

Resolved: that whoever put this girl (age 13 if Twitterstan is correct) up to this — her parents, an unscrupulous producer, whoever — should (1) fork over every dime earned off this song, from whatever source, to the American Red Cross, and (2) be banned for life from the music industry.



The lyricist should be… I dunno… beaten with some sort of obvious metaphor. The adults should be shamed… assuming they had any.

I thought the lyrics to Manic Monday by the Bangles was… well… obvious.

I sort of feel bad for the kid who will forever be remembered as the Black Plague.

I’m almost at the point where I think there should be an internet license based on a combination of age, maturity, sense and intelligence–how to police it is another matter.

Well, it’s terrible, but so what? They let Toto make whole albums.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Seriously, at the college radio station I worked at for four years, a first-year trainee played Toto during one of their tryouts. All hell broke loose on the listserv. (“Were they being ironic? If so, was it funny? Did they play Toto in earnest? If so, should be ban them from the station for life?” That sort of thing.)

This, however, is just… awful. Back in the 1980s, new wave bands put out absolute drivel, but it fit the spirit of the times. Even Autotune can’t fix Rebecca Black — she’s just that bad.

STINQUE SPORT UPDATE: Oh hey, look, U$C lost their play-in game.

@ManchuCandidate: Prince wrote “Manic Monday”, FWIW. Dude is/was so prolific, he could have worked with the Goffen-King hitmakers.

@chicago bureau: We didn’t have trainees or auditions at my college 10 watt station, but my opening song, first show evah, was “Stage Fright” by The Band.

@chicago bureau: unsurprising. The Trojans are remarkably thin outside their starting five.

I shouldn’t be shocked at the level of terrible the music industry tends to reach for with each passing year, but this is bad even by my cynical standards.

If she’s 13, I’m 22.

@chicago bureau: What’s wrong with Toto? /cues up her “’80s hits from hell” playlist

@chicago bureau: There’s a very happy Bruin celebrating at the Hooters in Assfuck Alabama

I deeply, deeply regret the 1:03 of my life I spent listening to that.

This is what you do when I am not here?

Nojo – please remove me from the sidebar.

@Mistress Cynica: I’m with you there. I stopped after maybe 30 seconds of that Fran Drescher voice (at least Fran did it consciously).

@chicago bureau: will usc fire kevin oneill? i’ve heard rumors. what’s the word?

speaking of songs about weekdays: monday

tuesday has at least two songs in its honor

movie about wednesday with gary busey

and more movies about weekdays: thursday
one of the greatest unknown movies ever made

@SanFranLefty: See now, I never would have associated Toto with the 80s without looking up their hits. Probably because I tuned them out as soon as they appeared, in the late 70s.

@libertarian tool: Feh. You’re only here to bust your bracket anyway, ‘tool. Where are you when we have serious stuff to talk about, like Wisconsin labor issues or the not-so-continuing saga of Charlie Sheen?

/scurries off to make sure bracket has been properly filed with the Commish/

ADD: Bloody hell, now I know what the TweetFeed is all about! I think I need some Streams of Whiskey to wash that earworm away…

This girl is like William Hung without the integrity.

@chicago bureau: @SanFranLefty: @Nabisco:

How ugly can you be and still score in an ’80s music video? This ugly.

They are up there on the all ugly bands. KISS being the ugliest.

I do like “Africa”, but not much else… hey, I was a kid and my music tastes back then kinda sucked.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: The banter is fine. But I was drinking drano halfway through the video.

On the subject of Wisconsin I prefer ranting alone.

I also have WI taken out by Butler in the first round.

The sad part is for all the money her folks dropped into this pubescent creature feature, she could have taken voice lessons, solfege and piano lessons for a couple of years. No kidding, the most successful soprano I’ve known personally – not a large cohort, but still – started out as a mostly rote-playing Bb marching baritone horn player in a small school system in Indiana. Today she premiers new works in modern opera to attentive and laudatory reviews in the Times, after struggling in undergrad years and blossoming into a confident and risk-taking artist in her masters program at an eastern states conservatory. The tragedy is that this kid here may have had a real interest in music but had it all pissed away in some narcissistic fantasy handed to her by her parents. Why would she ever want to spend years drilling arpeggiations, scraping up cash for Italian lessons and taking choral assignments to get a grip on the literature?

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