First it was the banks.  Then AIG.  Then Shittybank. Then the automakers.  Now it’s the former millionaires created by Bernard Madoff.

One week ago, Ronnie Ambrosino was a millionaire.

One week ago I owed less on my student loans than I do now.

Now, Ambrosino is among the long list of investors whose fortunes were allegedly wiped out by Bernard Madoff. Like them, she’s left hoping for a bailout that might never come.

I’m hoping Sallie Mae forgives my student loans.  And gives me a pony.

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Item: National Lampoon hauled in for securities fraud, relating to kickbacks for stock sales. Carry on.

[Image intervention by Nojo: The graphic CP didn’t want you to see! Not that it matters now…]

UPDATE: Before you read about Madoff, take a look at Preznit Bunnypants ducking to avoid thrown Iraqi shoes.  Sure he’s a war criminal, but he’s got pretty good reflexes for an old dude.

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This Ponzi scheme will probably be the largest and longest-running investment fraud uncovered during the downturn, but it will not be the last. It’s related to Big Shitpile because, among other things, hedge funds are some of the big losers. From the New York Times:

The zoning lawyer in Miami trusted him because his father had dealt profitably with him for decades. The officers of a little charity in Massachusetts respected him and relied on his advice.

A charity – this doesn’t look good.

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Remember Plymouth?  Oldsmobile?  Those car brands disappeared mostly because they duplicated another line’s models (in this case Dodge and Buick) by just changing the badges.  “Badge engineering” some called it.

Now GM must slim down.  The question is – which brands and nameplates to cut?

DETROIT — General Motors says it will eliminate eight nameplates by 2012.

But determining which vehicles will go isn’t as simple as finding eight sales duds in GM’s lineups. GM will kill more than eight vehicles — while adding several others — by 2012.

And what does GM consider essential?

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It’s torch and pitchfork time again:

Dec. 2 (Bloomberg) — American International Group Inc., the insurer rescued from failure by the U.S., should name executives getting “retention” payments and explain why the awards are needed, said Representative Elijah Cummings.

AIG, which said in a September filing that 130 managers will get “cash awards” to stay through 2009, isn’t providing enough information, said Cummings, a Maryland Democrat on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, in a letter to AIG dated yesterday.

And if you don’t think they’re going to steal it all, get a load of this:

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I can’t resist posting this (from John Cole’s comments):

THE TRAGEDY OF THE AMERICAN AUTOMOBILE INDUSTRY:A Play in Three Acts

Dramatis Personae

BIG THREE, a manufacturer of automobiles
UAW, Big Three’s employee
MITT ROMNEY, an idiot

 

ACT ONE

 

BIG THREE: I have plans to build automobiles, but I need labor to do so!
UAW: I will labor for you if you will pay me $40 per hour.
BIG THREE: I will not pay you $40 per hour.
UAW: But I need to save for my inevitible retirement, and any health concerns that may arise.
BIG THREE: I will pay you $30 per hour, plus a generous pension of guaranteed payments and health care upon your retirement.
UAW: Then I agree to work for you!

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Taking a cue from the Bush “administration”, GM tries disappearing the problem:

General Motors, criticized by lawmakers for its use of corporate jets, has asked aviation regulators to block the public’s ability to track a plane it uses.

“We availed ourselves of the option as others do to have the aircraft removed” from a Federal Aviation Administration tracking service, a G.M. spokesman, Greg Martin, said in an interview.

If nobody knows where their plane is, maybe they could make some extra money flying suspected terrorists to black sites for Dick Cheney.

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