“During a sit down interview with Ketchikan Public Radio this week, I used a term that was commonly used during my days growing up on a farm in Central California. I know that this term is not used in the same way nowadays and I meant no disrespect.”
Update: Take two: “I apologize.” [TPM]
BuzzFeed is shocked — Shocked! — by the matching pair of new Time covers:
TIME Magazine Sexualizing Same-Sex Marriage With New Cover Photo
This might lead you to ask: How is marriage not sexualized? Except for separate-bed Fifties sitcoms, of course. Oh, and your parents. (The Management apologizes for weirding you out.)
God, you suck. Can’t predict the outcome of a concentrated series of sporting events for shit. You’re so bad at it, you can’t help but join the Stinque Losers Braquet, our exclusive 12-step group for Addictive Failure Disorder.
Braquet Queen MellBell’s
Salon des Refusés
Group ID: 16383
Password: eventhelosers
Remember, the first step towards your recovery is believing in a Higher Failure. The second step is admitting you thought FGCU was some kind of exotic fungus.
Title: “God Gave Us Easter”
Author: Lisa Tawn Bergren; illustrations by Laura J. Bryant
Rank: 27
Blurb: “As Little Cub celebrates Easter with Papa, Mama, and her brother and sister, she begins to ask her papa questions about this very special day of the year. Papa lovingly explains God’s plans for his children, while taking Little Cub on a memorable walk through her stunning Arctic world, and he shares how Easter came about in clear, simple terms that even the littlest cubs can understand.”
Our guest columnist will probably pay closer attention next time when Googling “teaching” quotes.
Welcome to the NCES Kids’ Zone!
The NCES Kids’ Zone provides information to help you learn about schools; decide on a college; find a public library; engage in several games, quizzes and skill building about math, probability, graphing, and mathematicians; and to learn many interesting facts about education…
Title: “Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World”
Author: Phil McGraw
Rank: 20
Blurb: “Edgy, controversial and sometimes irreverent, Dr. Phil again abandons convention to prepare you to claim what you deserve and claim it now. You take flying lessons to learn to fly, swimming lessons to learn to swim, and singing lessons to learn to sing. So, why not take winning lessons to learn to win?”
There’s a reason why the Stinque Braquet is the worst hell on earth: Hope.
Every fool who has ventured here over the years has looked up to the light, and imagined climbing to victory. So easy… So simple… And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water from uncontrollable thirst, many have been ridiculed trying.
By us, of course.
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.