Rand Paul, Master Logician: “I think there should be some self-examination from the Administration on the idea that you favor a woman’s right to an abortion, but you don’t favor a woman or a man’s right to choose what kind of light bulb, what kind of dishwasher, what kind of washing machine.” [TPM]

“An earlier version of this article incorrectly referred to the new Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny as a female. Enda Kenny is a male.” [NYT, via Weigel]

Because the now-famous Wisconsin Quorum Rule only applies to budget bills, Cheesehead Republicans have always had the power to bust public unions without the participation of their vacationing Democratic brethren. The only reason they didn’t was the pretense that union-busting was a financial requirement to further enfilth the already filthy-rich Koch Brothers.

So last night’s Stealthcare Bill wasn’t flat-out illegal — the technical dispute is whether under Wisconsin’s open-meeting law, repackaging it required a cooling-off period before taking a vote.

But never mind that. Enjoy instead this delightful example of how America is the Beacon of Democracy to the world.

And here we thought it would be frogs:

An estimated one million fish turned up dead Tuesday in a Southern California marina, creating a floating feast for pelicans, gulls and other sea life and a stinky mess for harbor authorities.

The sardines apparently depleted the water of oxygen and suffocated after getting lost in the marina, officials said.

But here’s our favorite part:

“All indications are it’s a naturally occurring event,” said Andrew Hughan, a California Fish and Game spokesman at the scene.

Yes, because here in California, a million dead fish wash ashore all the time.

Mass Fish Death Fouls California Marina [ABC]

“The FBI has made an arrest in connection with the attempted bombing along the route of the annual Martin Luther King Jr. Day parade in downtown Spokane. An FBI source in Washington, D.C., said one man was arrested Wednesday outside a home near Colville, Stevens County… The suspect is believed to be affiliated with white supremacists, the source said.” [Seattle Times]

David Broder dies; Pulitzer-winning Washington Post political columnist [WaPo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVhuGCVIf3g

So we’re reading a backgrounder on Tosh.0, a program we happen to enjoy, only to discover we’re fucking up the demo:

“There are a million videos where someone gets kicked in the groin; this is the type of comedy that resonates well with young men,” said Brent Poer, managing director of ad-buying agency MediaVest.

Honestly, Tosh doesn’t run that many crotch shots — last night’s main segment featured the Screaming Candidate for Ohio county treasurer, whose junk remained blessedly unviolated.

Even during our own High-Testosterone Years, our taste in comedy ran more along the lines of Manhattan, Network, Airplane — but definitely not Animal House. Whacking Material, sure, but no crotch shots in the bunch.

But mainly it’s yet another Dreadfully Slow News Day, and we only need the slightest excuse to run the best kicked-in-the-groin video ever.

‘Tosh.0’ turns Internet videos into laughs, cash for Comedy Central [LAT]