Newt Gingrich, launching his campaign to put Dickens back in Christmas, used a curious phrase to express his demand that poor kids clean toilets: They need to learn the “dignity of work”.

Which led us to wonder: Has Newt ever worked?

And by “work”, we mean — well, the metaphorical equivalent of cleaning toilets. You know: A job. Like most people have. And most people hate.

By the standard most folks understand, Newt certainly hasn’t worked since November 1998, when he quit Congress after blowing the midterm election. He’s certainly been scheming, but he hasn’t been working.

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“Former Vice President Dan Quayle will endorse Mitt Romney for president in an Arizona event on Tuesday.” [Political Wire]

Our guest columnist needs to pay more attention to bots that visit web pages to create automated emails.

Hi,

I created a Paralegal Education site called [redacted]. It serves as a great resource for new students looking to find all the info they need on going to school to become a paralegal.

Would you be interested in accepting a guestpost from me on your page of “GOP Brain-Trust University’s Law School Dean Pleads Guilty to Child Sex Abuse”? I will be happy to write an article about any topic that you would like. It will only be used on your website.

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“Gingrich said he got Trump to agree to create a system of, as he put it, ‘Apprenti,’ where 10 New York City school kids in the poorer schools can apply for an apprenticeship of some kind. The obvious branding aside, it’s not immediately clear that the New York City Department of Education will be interested.” [Politico, via ThinkProgress]

Our guest columnists are Newt Gingrich and William R. Forstchen, co-authors of the 1995 alternate-history novel “1945”.

“But darling, Germany and the United States are not at war. What harm is there if we share the occasional bit of… gossip? Surely you don’t think that I, a loyal Swede…” The question trailed off in a lethal pout as his beautiful and so very exotic mistress stretched languidly, mock-innocent appeal in her eyes.

Even though it had been only minutes since their last lovemaking John Mayhew was as ever overwhelmed by the sight of her, the shameless pleasure she took in her own body and its affect on him. Still, he mustn’t let her see just how much she moved him. A relationship had to have some balance. He stretched in turn, reached over for his cigarettes and gold-plated Ronson on the art deco nightstand with its Tiffany lamp. Since he wasn’t sure what to say he made a production out of lighting up and enjoying that first luxurious after-bout inhalation.

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Title: “The Oxford Companion to Beer”

Editor: Garrett Oliver

Rank: 36

Blurb: “The first major reference work to investigate the history and vast scope of beer, The Oxford Companion to Beer features more than 1,100 A-Z entries written by 166 of the world’s most prominent beer experts.”

Review: “Mr. Oliver had given me a copy of this book as a friend and a colleague. I was initially awed at the sheer magnitude of information gathered and presented. My awe was so great that, for a few days, I could only run my hand across the satiny book jacket, as if this volume were a virgin and I was about to violate its purity.”

Customers Also Bought: “Odd Bits: How to Cook the Rest of the Animal” by Jennifer McLagan

Footnote: Remind us never to borrow that reviewer’s books.

The Oxford Companion to Beer [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

No, it’s not a debate. That would be coarse. It’s actually a series of speed dates conversations between Mike Huckabee and some of the surviving GOP candidates. And we’re holding a Cartoon Cavalcade/Open Thread because it’s only 5pm in Sandy Eggo, so what the hell.