There’s been so much McLovin going on in Republican politics this past week, the only way to honor Super Tuesday is by getting our Super Freak on. So grab your fake ID and vote in our GOP Primary Open Thread/Sexy Party. It’s called fucking strategy, all right?

“We are seeing the fabric of this country fall apart, and it’s falling apart because of single moms.” —Rick Santorum in a February 1994 campaign appearance. A month later: “What we have is moms raising children in single-parent households simply breeding more criminals.” [Mother Jones]

Ann Romney, Monday:

“I don’t even consider myself wealthy…”

Sound the alarm! Rally the Cadillacs!

Oh, wait. There’s more:

“…which is an interesting thing. It can be here today and gone tomorrow,” she said, “and how I measure riches is by the friends I have and the loved ones I have and the people I care about in my life and that is where my values are and those are my riches so for me having done through a difficult period in my life both with MS and with breast cancer it has done something to my heart and it has softened my heart and made me realize there are many people suffering in this country and they are suffering from things that aren’t financial — and some people are suffering from things that are financial, as well — but those that are suffering, for me, I just have a larger capacity for love and for understanding.”

Y’know, we’re gonna let that one pass. It’s not like Mitt won’t serve up a better quote on a silver platter soon enough.

So here’s what happened: One starry night in March 1991, a gentleman by the name of Rodney King was pulled over by L.A.’s Finest for DWB, and given instruction in who they were protecting and serving. Unlike other similar tutorials, this one was videotaped for the edification of Our Exceptional Nation, and the parts of Los Angeles you only see on cop shows elected to remonstrate in April 1992 after the officers were acquitted of irrational exuberance. This caught the attention of a young recording artist, who was profiled on the front page of the Washington Post’s Style section soon after. The story is now buried behind a paywall, but all anybody cared about was the photo caption:

Rapper Sister Souljah on the L.A. riots: “I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people? You understand what I’m saying?”

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“Robertson continued that the tornadoes may not have happened if people had prayed for divine intervention, ‘If enough people were praying He would’ve intervened, you could pray, Jesus stilled the storm, you can still storms.’ He also told people who live in areas prone to natural disasters that it’s ‘their fault, not God’s.’” [Right Wing Watch, via Political Wire]

“You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.” —One of 28 conditions you have to meet to run as a Republican in Laurens County, South Carolina. You also cannot “from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography”. [Clinton Chronicle, via TPM]

Our guest columnist is a frightened fat fuck, bloviating to the nation today.

I want to explain why I apologized to Sandra Fluke in the statement that was released on Saturday. I’ve read all the theories from all sides, and, frankly, they are all wrong. I don’t expect — and I know you don’t, either — morality or intellectual honesty from the left. They’ve demonstrated over and over a willingness to say or do anything to advance their agenda. It’s what they do. It’s what we fight against here every day. But this is the mistake I made. In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them.

Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong I descended to their level when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke. That was my error. I became like them, and I feel very badly about that. I’ve always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program. Nevertheless, those two words were inappropriate. They were uncalled for. They distracted from the point that I was actually trying to make, and I again sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for using those two words to describe her. I do not think she is either of those two words. I did not think last week that she is either of those two words.

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