Our guest columnist is the Daily Beast’s Ben Jacobs, riffing the naughty bits from Robert Draper’s new book.

John Dingell is the longest currently-serving member of Congress (and the third longest-serving ever). The acerbic 85-year-old Michigan Democrat had long been contemptuous of Tea Partiers. He found them unruly and difficult to get along with. Dingell tended to refer to them as “tea baggers,” a phrase that has an alternate sexual meaning. This normally wouldn’t have been a problem in the hall of Congress, but when Dingell was booked to appear on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, his staff felt the need to finally warn and educate him. When his chief of staff shared the other meaning of “tea bagger” with Dingell, the Congressman went through three different stages of reaction. At first, he said “hah,” then said “that’s disgusting,” and finally the octogenarian congressman reached the plain of acceptance and said, “It’s funny and I’m going to keep using it.”

9 Revelations From Robert Draper’s ‘Do Not Ask What Good We Do’ [Daily Beast, via Political Wire]

[Pew Research Center]

• “The worst part about it is that a black guy scored” (@anthonyvigz)
• “a black guy scored the series winning goal #wtf #thisishockey” (@joey4nier)
• “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what is this would coming to a black guy scored in hockey to win the fucken game” (@olsenkid9)

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The New Yorker’s George Packer frets about people who aren’t the New Yorker’s George Packer:

At bottom, the invented rituals that proliferate in our culture signify a disenchantment with modernity. If, like millions of Americans, you’re secular and the traditions of a church or temple have no hold on you, or if you’re assimilated and ethnic identity has faded away, then what is there to sustain you on the lonely path through a turbulent, rootless, uncertain world?

Our response is, how you say, conflicted.

What compels the New Yorker’s George Packer to bemoan Modern Society is — wait for it — a cupcake party. Apparently you get the secret news about your prenatal baby’s gender from the doctor, slip the baker a gratuity to cook the (still secret) information into pink or blue confections, and then invite all your friends to share your joy by simultaneously chowing down. It’s a girl! And it’s delicious!

And here we heartily agree with the New Yorker’s George Packer: Oh my fucking god, why are you dragging me through this? And why didn’t you hold a party to reveal your pregnancy test?

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This is Marco Rubio’s Catholic Communion Certificate. It was issued in 1984, when he was 13, in Las Vegas. Marco Rubio’s staff sent the Communion Certificate to BuzzFeed after a dispute arose whether Marco Rubio returned to the One True Church in Las Vegas, or later in Miami. The dispute arose because while Marco Rubio was in Las Vegas, his family tasted the forbidden fruit of Mormon Cultism.

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Well, that makes two things Jimmy Fallon has done that we like. This, and the Emmy opening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRgktzRvZ0

This is a frog sitting on a bench like a human. We are presenting a frog sitting on a bench like a human because the Bible has some definitive things to say about frogs, whether or not they are sitting on benches like humans.

What does the Bible have to say about sitting-on-a-bench-like-a-human-optional frogs? Things like “I will smite all thy borders with frogs” (Exodus 8:2). And “He sent divers sorts of flies among them, which devoured them; and frogs, which destroyed them” (Psalms 78:45). And “Their land brought forth frogs in abundance, in the chambers of their kings” (Psalms 105:30). And “I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the mouth of the false prophet” (Revelation 16:13).

You could say that the Bible offers very specific details about frogs, whether or not they choose to sit on benches like humans. And you would be correct.

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