Where’s the Communion Certificate?
This is Marco Rubio’s Catholic Communion Certificate. It was issued in 1984, when he was 13, in Las Vegas. Marco Rubio’s staff sent the Communion Certificate to BuzzFeed after a dispute arose whether Marco Rubio returned to the One True Church in Las Vegas, or later in Miami. The dispute arose because while Marco Rubio was in Las Vegas, his family tasted the forbidden fruit of Mormon Cultism.
Some folks would like Marco Rubio to be Mitt Romney’s veep candidate, which is why we’re talking about Marco Rubio’s Communion Certificate. Later, some other folks will be talking about Marco Rubio’s Birth Certificate. The other folks will be talking about Marco Rubio’s Birth Certificate because while Marco Rubio was born in Miami, his parents were not United States Citizens.
We hope that Mitt Romney chooses Marco Rubio as his veep candidate. Because that would make the campaign really, really fun.