Where’s the Communion Certificate?

This is Marco Rubio’s Catholic Communion Certificate. It was issued in 1984, when he was 13, in Las Vegas. Marco Rubio’s staff sent the Communion Certificate to BuzzFeed after a dispute arose whether Marco Rubio returned to the One True Church in Las Vegas, or later in Miami. The dispute arose because while Marco Rubio was in Las Vegas, his family tasted the forbidden fruit of Mormon Cultism.

Some folks would like Marco Rubio to be Mitt Romney’s veep candidate, which is why we’re talking about Marco Rubio’s Communion Certificate. Later, some other folks will be talking about Marco Rubio’s Birth Certificate. The other folks will be talking about Marco Rubio’s Birth Certificate because while Marco Rubio was born in Miami, his parents were not United States Citizens.

We hope that Mitt Romney chooses Marco Rubio as his veep candidate. Because that would make the campaign really, really fun.

Marco Rubio’s First Communion [BuzzFeed]

Did the birfers not think this idiocy wouldn’t apply to their candidates?

@ManchuCandidate: They’ll find a reason why it doesn’t. They are liars and fools, after all.

Was he baptized a Mo? You can go inactive, and you can not be endowed (like Catt), but unless you resign, you’ve got the Mo as do all of your ancestors.

One of these converts dead Jews and believes Jesus visited our shores, the other rapes children and believes its god is a 3 for 1 deal. More than 50 percent (?) of the earth’s population orders their lives based on the perceived wants of an invisible man in the sky.

No wonder the aliens haven’t visited.

@I’m passing for white: Oh, I may be fat nowadays, but I’m still packin’. How big, you ask? Two hands and a tub of butter, say I! T’would strike the Dauphin blind to look on me.

This edition of TMI Theatre brought to you by Tommmcatt and the erstwhile JNOV. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, It must be T n’ J!

@Tommmcatt Wears A Hoodie Daily: Pssst Put down the butter. ¡Andrew! recommends Eros Bodyglide.

TJ/ Someone page DrinkyClown? I meeeez heeeem.

Oh, wow! The Snorg Girl has grown into a Woman with curves and shit.

Sure, he’s all for buying the elections, but when the bill for democracy comes up, Dave’s always in the men’s room. I’m sorry, I must have left Wisconsin in my other coat.

I was particularly excited to meet David Koch earlier tonight because I have a Super PAC, Colbert Super PAC, and I am — thank you, thank you — and I am happy to announce Mr. Koch has pledged $5 million to my Super PAC. And the great thing is, thanks to federal election law, there’s no way for you to ever know whether that’s a joke.

By the way, if David Koch likes his waiter tonight, he will be your next congressman.”

And Stephen Colbert had some very appropriate comments to Timothy Cardinal Dolan as well.

Stephen Colbert is my hero!

Does he have a certificate of confession before his first communion? If Rubio didn’t confess and go to the sacrament clean of sin then the communion was invalid and he is not a Catholic.

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