A Frog Sitting on a Bench Like a Human

Ross Douchehat looks and writes like the guy who is stuck with the dancing/singing frog “Hello my baby, hello mah darling, hello my ragtime gaaaaal!”

Gay relationships may be unitive in some sense, but they are not unitive in the male-female, difference-reunited sense…

Is this guy a member of MENSA? Because if he’s not, he ought to apply. Because that’s probably the smartest, most surprisingly non-obvious thing I think I’ve ever seen anyone write. “Gay realtionships are not unitive in the male-female sense.” Wow. Just… wow.

“Christian orthodoxy does not require a blind Biblical literalism, but it requires a respect for the authority of that revelation, and the intellectual honesty to recognize when it isn’t saying what we might like it to say.”

This mindset baffles me. If you don’t like a religious dictate, don’t follow it! How is it “intellectually honest” to do otherwise?

@mellbell:
In this case “intellectual honesty” means that if we disagree with his interpretation of the Bible, then we have to admit to ourselves that we’re probably going to hell.

Sitting in the morning sun
I’ll be sitting when the evening comes
Watching the flies fly in
And I watch ’em fly away again

Sitting on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
I’m just sitting on the dock of the bay
Wasting time

I left my home in the swamp
Headed for the ‘Frisco bay
‘Cause I had nothin to live for
And look like nothing’s gonna come my way

@mellbell: It’s “roll your own” religion. Christian fundies say that gayhood is bad because Leviticus says so, but do they keep kosher like Leviticus says to? Huh? And how about that garment of mixed fibers thing (Lev 19:19)? What’s up with that?

@Dodgerblue: Or Leverite marriage. Because according to Leviticus you straight guys have to marry and impregnate your sister-in-law.

Which leads me to the important point: like the passages about slavery and women, the bible isn’t relevant on this point because our understanding of humanity, and human rights, has changed. We aren’t wandering the desert anymore, and human reproduction is not at the same premium it was when the Levites penned these rules.

@Dodgerblue: What gets me is that Douthat’s message to gays is, essentially, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” He “might like” that the Church were accepting of gays, but until that happens his hands are tied, because dogma trumps conscience. Again, where is the “intellectual honesty” in that?

@Tommmcatt Wears A Hoodie Daily: I think that nails it. The Levites needed to spawn like bunnies to keep from being kicked around by every other tribe in the neighborhood.

@Dodgerblue: Douthat’s entire pitch is that American Christians are making shit up. Turns out what he really means is that he just prefers his fantasy exegesis.

He’s eying little girls with bad intent.

@nojo: You’re just reviving your amphibian obsession. I worry about you.