A Talibunny Stormtrooper Ready for the Stormfront

Federal authorities are completely freaked out by the possibility of an uprising of enraged neo-Nazis, set on the extermination of Barack Obama and his presidency – a security exposure they believe as potent as an attack by Al Qaeda, according to a report in Newsweek this week.

Waiting in the wings, of course, is the Talibunny for whom the politics of rage, hatred and despair in this campaign have seized her psyche like the first rush of crack in the pristine bloodstream of mall rat – and for whom the neo-Nazi movement provides a ready made army, steeled to take back America from the perfidies and heresies of an Obama administration.

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Talibunny and Psychogeezer no longer even holding hands on the bus. Silly Psychogeezer, you think she gave a shit about your alleged politics, you stupid fucking twit?

Robert Draper in his ‘In the Home Stretch’ column at Blog GQ wrote this week that the Psychogeezer and the Talibunny weren’t talking any more. Their disaffection for each other had reached an apex in which the Psychogeezer refused to sit with the Talibunny during a recent extended stretch on the road with the campaign.

At least that is the way the story was relayed to him but who really knows? The Talibunny may have reorganized her alliances around any number of future scenarios and lined up Psychogeezer stalwarts for her 2012 campaign and begun alienating everyone who didn’t prove apparently useful for her plans, in good auld Talibunny style. Here’s Draper’s tale:

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The Talibunny is a self-made agent of apocalypse straight from the twisted, beer-sodden imagination of Stephen King, a Jesus-crazed Wal-Mart ayatollah bent on the conversion of America into a theocratic dystopia and, finally, a wasteland incinerated in the advance of her apocalyptic fervor exercised in the pursuit of biblical Rapture.

The Talibunny knows that God reveals His plans in mysterious ways though it is obvious to her now that He hath delivered unto her unto a failing, deceived campaign that would provide nothing more – and nothing less – than a pulpit from which she would launch her own own 2012 campaign for the White House.

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There may be a simple reason the Talibunny sounds like an uninformed, airheaded fascist bimbo.

It may well be because she is clinically fucking stupid. Her high school SATs – in an unconfirmed document provided exclusively to Stinque – apparently confirm what everyone already knew: there is nothing between her ears but moose shit and dreams of Apocalypse.

Most people’s pets get better SAT scores than Sarah Palin (nee Heath) apparently got in high school in Wasilla. The scores from the Admissions Testing Program below tell the tale.

The top end of the SAT scale is 800. The young dewy Jesus-crazed and fuck-crazed Talibunny barely broke the SAT medians with scores of 425 and 416 in verbal and math examinations respectively.

However, those scores, weighted along a national performance curve don’t even qualify the Fuhrerette-in-Waiting for a place among the average. The Talibunny’s SAT results qualify her for a place among the top scorers of the bottom third percentile – yes, with vinyl siding salesman and crystal meth merchants.

CLICK on the image to see full-sized rendering of the Talibunny's sad SAT report

Don't Even Touch Him! Or He'll Bite Your Face!

Whining Psychopathic wife-abandoner and raging superannuated 2-year old John ‘Psychogeezer’ McCain was legend for attacking colleagues. women, people in wheelchairs, really anybody who got in his way.

No one really knew, however, how tightly sprung his triggers were.

Do you have to approach him or would a look or an injudicious fart across the room from him set off on a face-biting paroxysm?

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Talibunny needs to get naked, Paris says

Schlong-gobbling amateur porn dilettante Paris Hilton gave some unsolicited campaign advice to adulterous, racist theofascist GOP freak-show at large Sarah ‘Talibunny’ Palin: take your clothes off.

Sensible stagecraft it may well be.

Face it.

The freak show attraction that the Talibunny has devolved into has much less to do with her theofascist politics than it does with desperate, angry, sour old fucking guys driven insane with the idea that there is a woman out there of apparent pestorkability that shares their medieval politics.

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The Whole World Hates This Crazy Old Fucking Hyperindulged Fuckwit

Just how reviled is the hateful insane, apocalypse baiting John ‘Psychogeezer’ McCain?  Almost no one on earth except for the GOP base, crystal meth-crazed snakehandlers and goat fuckers, would vote for the confused wife-abandoner and organized crime suck-up.

That’s the inescapable conclusion of the Economist’s Global Electorial College project that posits the question, ‘What if the Whole World Could Vote?” The vote thus far shows they’d blow lunch at the prospect of Psychogeezer running for anything more important than public-restroom bathroom attendant. As of this morning, Psychogeezer was trailing with 18 global electorial college votes to Barack Obama’s 8482.

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