Talibunny Checks Psychogeezer & Begins Campaign to Establish Theocracy in 2013

The Talibunny is a self-made agent of apocalypse straight from the twisted, beer-sodden imagination of Stephen King, a Jesus-crazed Wal-Mart ayatollah bent on the conversion of America into a theocratic dystopia and, finally, a wasteland incinerated in the advance of her apocalyptic fervor exercised in the pursuit of biblical Rapture.

The Talibunny knows that God reveals His plans in mysterious ways though it is obvious to her now that He hath delivered unto her unto a failing, deceived campaign that would provide nothing more – and nothing less – than a pulpit from which she would launch her own own 2012 campaign for the White House.

Everyone’s initial fears – Psychogeezer would win and she’d strangle him in his sleep and punch the launch codes as soon as the Attorney General certified invocation of the 25th Amendment – have abated now that Psychogeezer’s crusade of hatred and rage has succumbed to its own ambivalence and incompetence.

Still, transforming Psychogeezer’s tactical move in appointing her his running mate into a strategy of self-promotion for the 2012 GOP nomination comes as naturally to the Talibunny as dropping moose with a hunting rifle. It’s clear to observers inside and outside the campaign that McCain is being stalked by the Talibunny – and his resources, as well as that of the RNC’s, are being assessed for a Talibunny presidential bid.

Reporters are picking up on the menace that the Talibunny is projecting at the old man who stands between her and ultimate power. NBC’s Chuck Todd picked up on the Talibunny’s resentment of the confused old man, according to a recent Los Angeles Times “Show Tracker” column. The signals of an ambition thwarted and impatient were clear to Todd:

It’s a negative intensity — I don’t know how else to describe it. You’ll see, when you see the two of them together, the chemistry is not all there. You do wonder, is John McCain starting to blame her for things, blaming himself? Is she blaming him? … But whatever it is, it’s a negative vibe that you get in that room…

I can’t emphasize enough the odd body language. I know Obama and Biden don’t have the great chemistry yet, but there seems to be some chemistry. I didn’t see any chemistry here. It very much feels forced, and you almost wonder, maybe it’s the intensity of the moment. They know they’re down, you have no sleep at night. You need that idea that you can win to keep you going. … You almost wonder why they wanted the two of them sitting next to each other. …

No doubt, the Talibunny is fantasizing freely about taking down the Psychogeezer with a Bushmaster over/under. It is the way of the Talibunny: Make league with potent and accessible political players; charm them; use them to advance her political career; betray them; repeat. It’s a scheme that the Talibunny has played out at every stage of her career. according to a profile this fall in Salon, the online magazine. She had to move up or out of Alaska politics because there was no one left in the state to stab in the back.

Meanwhile, the brainier of the Psychogeezer campaign stalwarts are figuring out that the Talibunny is playing the Paleo- and psycho-conservative base against their man, according to a recent column by Mark Ambinder at theAtlantic.com. Ambinder wrote this week, “And if she wants the job, she’s easily the frontrunner to become THE voice of the angry Right in the Wilderness.”

Talibunny knows this. She experienced her potential to be Commander and Chief of the Adkisson Brigades at the Minnesota GOP convention and at rallies in southern states this fall. At those events, she inspired and basked in a delicious surge of raw, animal hatred and racist terror. It resonates through her like a coloratura soprano leading the finale of a colossal opera of despair and rage. It is simply impossible for an opportunist of this wit and will not to attempt to cash in on her talent for inciting riot, like a certain beer hall political operative who dirtied western civilization’s history books in the last century.

A desperate and demoralized GOP, reduced to a rabble of toothless pigfuckers and halfwit ‘thought leaders’ like Newt Gingrich just may embrace a candidate who could put big tits and a winning smile on a fascist theocratic platform.

Better, the Talibunny could provide a figure head for Jesus-crazies, neo-confederates, militiamen and survivalists – the Adkisson Brigades – giving the RNC an easy mechanism by which to besiege the Obama presidency, denouncing him as a terrorist/Marxist/socialist/Muslin on Fox News 24/7 and organizing false-flag domestic attacks in an attempt to drive a terrorized population screaming back into the arms of the fascists in 2012.

We’ll see if the RNC and Talibunny have the wisdom to forstall the spontaneous devolution of the GOP into a fanatical cult animated by fear, rage and political violence.  The party set itself up for this final act with its Southern Strategy begun in earnest in 1980 campaign, de-emphasizing the cultivation of the Catholic vote for the evangelical crowd in the southern states, fine by party stalwarts as long as the GOP nominated white WASP males.

Now that the party is faced with a bible-believing candidate of formidible popularity who is actually from the ranks of Jesus crazies and pig fuckers, the RNC establishment will have to serve as willing accomplices to the near spontaneous re-organization of the GOP into a cult (Scientology was an exception in that it was purpose-built from scratch) made up of functionally insane fanatics who would destroy the country, if not western civilization.

Talibunny’s personal psychology and history in the evangelical movement blind her to the unwholesome social and poltical dynamics in which she is a central player – as much as they have any cult leader at the moment of social catalyzation that transform a sense of common purpose into a molevolent movement.  The predictable group dynamics that will inspire legions of vocal followers to rally behind her candidacy, Talibunny will misinterpret as god’s approval – like all cult leaders before her.

We do hope that after the Atwater and Rove epochs, which succeeded on their ability to sow division and fear, there is still some adult supervision left in the party, because the crowd that is forming up around the Talibunny aren’t just cynical gangsters on the make for the next campaign and the next buck. They’re true believers. They’re armed. And though chances of Talibunny prevailing are not great, a White House run based on rallying the Adkisson Brigades wouldn’t leave much to fight over.


I swear, when I saw that graphic I thought it was a new design for the Euro.

Who would have thought that the second coming of Jebus would be a hot grandmother?

@Dodgerblue: Worse, she’s the Auntie Christ! (Waah, sorry, the puns they compell me)

A Euroan speaks: please don’t let her out the country.

Offtopic: what’s the diaper rating on this guy?

@Dodgerblue: Yay thanks! I harbor an unnatural attraction to puns, blame my engineer dad.

@Bibliophylax: He started low, and has been climbing slowly as his story gets more crazy. Bonus points for staying in the race, and telling someone to “tease cock”.

Thank FSM you’re back, FCS! We need you in these scary times, so please stick around, kay?
Also, this is some beautiful, beautiful stuff:

There she inspired and basked in a delicious surge of raw, animal hatred and racist terror. It resonating through her like a coloratura soprano leading the finale of a colossal opera of despair and rage.

@Dodgerblue: Are we deliberately making reference to Potter? Because the aware use of “well played” is indeed well-played.

“Auntie Christ” is quite a good one.

@flippin eck:

A postcard would have been nice (srsly, welcome the f*&k back, hermano. Time for the weird to turn pro.)

Oh, and TJ/ Isiah Thomas seems to have pulled a T.O.

@drinkyclown: The aspergery-types, they often fall for the puns, too; its purely symbolic humor, see, involving manipulating and juxtaposing symbols, completely different from most humor which involves depictions of human interaction or observation with unexpected results. Ya gotta have good social awareness to “get” most jokes.

@Prommie: See, now that word just leads to more punnery, since it’s pronounced “assburgers”.

@Prommie: I’ve never understood the contempt towards puns. Anybody who’s watched Mr. Peabody and Sherman knows they have enduring cultural value.

OT, but some cheery news, just had to call outside counsel to ask about some employment issues, and outside employment counsel advises that business is booming. The business of advising businesses about how to handle layoffs. So somebody’s business is up.

@nojo: I love puns. Do you know the one about state lions?

@Prommie: No, but I have a very long story about a cow that “moo’d indigo.”

@nojo: So there was this zookeeper who was caring for these ancient dolphins. The secret to their long life, it seemed, was that they would only eat a certain kind of rare sea bird. So every month, the zookeeper had to drive to a state park where these rare and protected birds were known to nest, he would trap the birds in the night and scurry back to the zoo.

The Park rangers discovered that the population of gulls was being depleted, so they staked out the area where they nested, and though they saw the zookeeper come and go, he was always able to evade them. Finally, they hit upon a plan, they aquired a pair of lions, and let them loose to patroll the area just inside the fence which marked the park’s boundary.

One night the zookeeper came back to trap the rare birds again. he approached the fence, saw the lions, but he knew what he had to do, and he lept over the lions and into the park. He trapped several birds, and then had to make his escape. He started back, and came to the lions again just inside the fence. Once again he makes a huge leap for the fence and makes it, climbs up and over, and immediately a hand reaches out from the darkness and grabs him and he hears the words “you’re under arrest. They charged him with violating the Mann Act: transporting gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises.

@nojo: I have the first year of Rocky & Bullwinkle on DVD.

These people are kinda like those mutants in Beneath Planet of the Apes who worshiped an ICBM.

@drinkyclown: My favorite remains (from Bulwer-Lytton):
Vowing revenge on his English teacher for making him memorize Wordsworth’s “Intimations of Immortality,” Warren decided to pour sugar in her gas tank, but he inadvertently grabbed a sugar substitute so it was actually Splenda in the gas.


SO there was this Jewish holy man and they sent him off to the far-off Planet of the Trids to establish the Jewish Faith in that galaxy. After landing in his spaceship, the holy man lived for a long time with the little furry creatures, learning their ways. Every few weeks, however, a huge monster would appear in the hills, running in to the village of the Trids to kick them here, there, everywhere! The first few times the holy man would hide with the furry little guys, but as time went by he grew bolder, and finally, when the monster appeared, the holy man ran up to it and cried “For the love of God, if you must kick someone, kick me, and leave the little furry people alone!”. The monster looked at him and said “Sir, I cannot”. The holy man, shocked, asked the monster why, and the monster responded, gravely:

“Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!”

Where is my gravatar? I am sad without him.

Chainsaw!!! You finished the revolution and came back! We missed you and your opera passage is a thing of beauty.

hail the return of the Chainsaw!

The “thinking dept.” of my local branch of institutionalized intellectual retardation lurve teh Palin…totes. I received the following email from one of its cohorts:

Subject: I Didn’t Know That, Did You ?

Question: What is America’s first line of missile interceptor defense that protects the entire United States?

Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard.

Question: What is the ONLY National Guard unit on permanent active duty?

Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard

Question: Who is the Commander in Chief of the 49th Missile Defense Battalion of Alaska National Guard?

Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

Question: What U.S. governor is routinely briefed on highly classified military issues, homeland security, and counter terrorism?

Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

Question: What U.S. governor has a higher classified security rating than either candidate of the
Democrat Party?

Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

According to the Washington Post, she first met with McCain in February, but nobody ever found out. This is a woman used to keeping secrets. She can be entrusted with our national security, because she already is.

Now you DO know!

Yes I do know…that she is dumber than a sack of owl shit! Designated responsibility doesn’t confer intelligence or competence. I know, I deal with it daily.

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