Yesterday I suggested that, should the South decide again to secede, we should let them go. Somewhere, some commenter wrote that we should retain this or that piece of Kentucky in our more perfect Union because it had bourbon or bluegrass or something.  And again I say, fuck no:

As an atheist and a Kentuckian, Edwin Hensley was rather put off to learn that the God he has spent decades not believing [in] had been put in charge of keeping the Bluegrass State safe from terrorism.

Turns out a stealthy legislative move by a Baptist preacher-turned-politician led to the passage of a 2006 bill requiring the state’s Office of Homeland Security to acknowledge formally that safety and security in the state “cannot be achieved apart from reliance upon almighty God.” The language in the bill only recently came to the public’s attention, leading Hensley and some like-minded Kentuckians to file a lawsuit against the state.

Quick, somebody call Chertoff and tell him Kentucky doesn’t need any more Homeland Security money.

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Mirabile Dictu – David Vitter is going to try and hang on to his Senate seat.

Louisiana GOP Senator David Vitter would have seemed like a prime candidate for retirement this cycle. After all, he went through a particularly nasty scandal last Summer when it was revealed that he was on the D.C. Madam’s client list, a prostitute came forward and said he’d been a client of hers back in Louisiana, and he confessed to a “very serious sin.”

But not so — local Louisiana station KTBS reports that Vitter has decided to run again! And considering the generally Republican nature of Louisiana’s voters these days, he probably starts out at the very least as the slight favorite to win, too.

Analysis and hooker/wife comparison after the jump.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the average Palin supporter:

A speeding truck rammed a woman’s sedan at over 100 MPH on a Texas freeway last Friday. Why? According to the Archangel Gabriel/ Michael E. Schwab, a resident of Blooming Grove, Texas, the woman “was not driving like a Christian.”

What – she wasn’t signaling in tongues?

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It’s torch and pitchfork time again:

Dec. 2 (Bloomberg) — American International Group Inc., the insurer rescued from failure by the U.S., should name executives getting “retention” payments and explain why the awards are needed, said Representative Elijah Cummings.

AIG, which said in a September filing that 130 managers will get “cash awards” to stay through 2009, isn’t providing enough information, said Cummings, a Maryland Democrat on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, in a letter to AIG dated yesterday.

And if you don’t think they’re going to steal it all, get a load of this:

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I can’t resist posting this (from John Cole’s comments):

THE TRAGEDY OF THE AMERICAN AUTOMOBILE INDUSTRY:A Play in Three Acts

Dramatis Personae

BIG THREE, a manufacturer of automobiles
UAW, Big Three’s employee
MITT ROMNEY, an idiot

 

ACT ONE

 

BIG THREE: I have plans to build automobiles, but I need labor to do so!
UAW: I will labor for you if you will pay me $40 per hour.
BIG THREE: I will not pay you $40 per hour.
UAW: But I need to save for my inevitible retirement, and any health concerns that may arise.
BIG THREE: I will pay you $30 per hour, plus a generous pension of guaranteed payments and health care upon your retirement.
UAW: Then I agree to work for you!

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Giants fan Lili prepares for the kickoff, blissfully unaware that her hero is in serious trouble:

The Giants’ dream season was thrown into turmoil Saturday when Super Bowl star Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg at a Manhattan nightclub and linebacker Antonio Pierce tried to hide the gun, police sources said.

Burress is expected to be arrested on felony weapons charges in the coming days, while Pierce’s attorney was in frantic discussions with cops last night to stave off criminal charges, police sources said.

NFL Today just said that, if convicted, Burress faces a mandatory three-and-one-half year sentence. That’s what happens when you fuck with Michael Bloomberg. And, of course, his carry permit is only for Florida and expired last year anyway.

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Taking a cue from the Bush “administration”, GM tries disappearing the problem:

General Motors, criticized by lawmakers for its use of corporate jets, has asked aviation regulators to block the public’s ability to track a plane it uses.

“We availed ourselves of the option as others do to have the aircraft removed” from a Federal Aviation Administration tracking service, a G.M. spokesman, Greg Martin, said in an interview.

If nobody knows where their plane is, maybe they could make some extra money flying suspected terrorists to black sites for Dick Cheney.

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