How Would Jesus Drive?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the average Palin supporter:
A speeding truck rammed a woman’s sedan at over 100 MPH on a Texas freeway last Friday. Why? According to the Archangel Gabriel/ Michael E. Schwab, a resident of Blooming Grove, Texas, the woman “was not driving like a Christian.”
What – she wasn’t signaling in tongues?
Schwab failed to explain what the woman had done to prompt the Lord’s wrath and investigators have since determined that she violated no traffic laws. She was driving North on highway 281 when Schwab struck the rear of her sedan. The impact spun both vehicles across the median before being brought to a halt by the barrier on the far side of the south bound lanes. Neither party was seriously injured by the accident, although both vehicles appear to be totaled.
Describing the accident, Lt. Kyle Coleman of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Department said, “He just said God said she wasn’t driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road.” According to a release issued by the department, Schwab told police “the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.” It was Schwab who told the police that he was traveling over 100 MPH at the time of the impact.
Why is my country filled with these dumbshits?
Schwab has since been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, been placed under a $50,000 bond and will now face a psychological evaluation.
“God must have been with them, ’cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal,” said Lt. Coleman. [via My San Antonio]
Next time the South wants to secede, I say we let ’em.