Don’t Do the Crime If You Can’t Choose the Time

June 2009 was a busy month. The Iranian uprising was in full flower. George Tiller had just been murdered. Michael Jackson gave up the ghost. And on June 24, America beheld one of the most marvelous days in South Carolina political history — so marvelous that Mark Sanford would be the hands-down winner of the 2009 Stinque Award for best sex scandal.

After all, “Hiking the Appalachian Trail” is just irresistible.

So irresistible that America might be forgiven for quickly forgetting John Ensign’s less-brandable scandal — which broke only a week before.

We mention all this because there’s been some partisan wang-wrangling this week over whether Weiner got a fair shake. What about David Vitter, goes the refrain. What about John Ensign?

To answer the first: We don’t have Sex Scandal Diaper Ratings for nothing.

And to answer the second: John Ensign got lucky.

Ensign got lucky because we were very preoccupied by some world-historical events down Persia way. And he got even luckier when a much weirder scandal began brewing within days of his announcement. Yes, Ensign was shtupping the staff, and we would soon learn that the folks were involved, but it didn’t involve dead girls or live boys — and it sure as hell didn’t involve an Argentine Firecracker.

Give America some credit: We do have standards for these things.

Compare this to Weinerpalooza, which initially broke late Friday night on a holiday weekend, and, as Dave Weigel observes, could have been quickly quashed the next day if Weiner had immediately fessed up and told us to butt out. Maybe we’d still get a few jolly days out of it — Erections Have Consequences, as Rupert’s Post says — but it wouldn’t have reached the climax we’ve been enjoying this week.

As it stands, Weiner emerged during a very slow couple of news weeks, easily towered over Sarah Palin’s American History for Dummies, and finally wilted in the face of yesterday’s Newtiny. It wasn’t just the best show in the nation, it was the only show.

So no pity from us for Weiner’s treatment. If only he had tweeted his peepee the night of the Correspondents Dinner, nobody would have cared.

Because within twenty-four hours, Osama bin Laden would be dead.


True, but then again Weiner’s not facing charges… yet.

Weiner’s a total dick.

It’s not the crime… it’s not even the coverup… it’s the timing!

Newt’s imbloviation? Meh.
Sarah’s revision of lamestream history? Meh.
Weiner’s exhibitionism? Oh, yeah.

Epic stinqueup with Jamie and Mrs. RML at the Gila River casio/hotel near Phoenix last night.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Fun was had, but not in the casino. I’m not a gambler so we just hung out on the bar’s patio.

Breaking hard: Weiner rampant in Brooklyn. Refusing to soften stance on resignation. Will not deflate for Dems. Local voter claims, “He’s no softie. He brings it hard without wilting.” Repubs claim he can’t measure up. Weiner claims he’s in it for the long haul and isn’t afraid to go deep.

@’catt – I wanted to go to the martini bar, mainly because it was quiet, but it was closed for a private event. We had a blast with Jamie talking politics, family, First Lady fashion, and whatever. I did buy her that beer SFL said to for the third round. I’m having a dry martini with Aviation gin from the PNW within the hour. Oh, a highlight of the evening – Jamie got mistaken for my wife by a guy who was later part of a racous group that almost got tossed from the Shula’s steakhouse. I’m told it was almost to the point where one guy was gonna put on a table cloth kilt.

@redmanlaw: So do I owe you five bucks or was Jamie a cheaper date? Now you and Mrs. RML have to get out to Ess Eff or give me more advance notice for the next SoCal Stinque-Up.

@SanFranLefty: We gotta do one soon, I need to see my favorite ghosts in the machine soon.

@SanFranLefty: Fuckin’ casino beers were six bucks for a 16 oz draft of some kind of pretty decent pale ale. We hope to get Jamie here for the opera, or just to hang in the back yard and light hiking.

@SanFranLefty: Mrs RML is still in love with a certain feline of our mutual acquaintence from a stinque up a while back.

@redmanlaw: You don’t get some sort of “secret Indian discount” on beer at the casinos like my ABC friends get their “secret Chinese discount” on clothes or hardware when they go to certain shops in Ess Eff?

@redmanlaw: Well, how can anyone not love that Hawtt Catt?

@SanFranLefty: No “bro discount” beers = Das Racist.

Pics from Phoenix Stinque Up in the sandbox.

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