The 2010 Stinque Awards
We weathered a backstage slapfight between James Franco’s hand and Thing, and survived our first Jury Nullification Crisis, so we can’t say that the third annual Stinque Awards for Achievement in Infamy went off without a hitch. But by the end of the day, we had added a third stop on our All-American Grave-Pissing Tour, to be scheduled as soon as our Pantheon of Crystal Douchebags do us the favor of departing This Mortal Coil. While you’re waiting in the courtesy lounge, you’re welcome to peruse the nominees and winners (in bold), with links to each presentation.
Award | Nominees | |
---|---|---|
Opening Ceremonies | Technical Awards for Nice People | |
Le Prix Trudeau for Best Un-American Activity | Julian Assange Tony Hayward Kim Jong-il |
|
Velveteen Vuvuzela for Obnoxiousness in Sport | Sepp Blatter/FIFA LeBron James Vancouver Olympics Organizing Committee Brett Favre |
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Feathered Fawlty for Most Obsequious Pundit | Fox & Friends Washington Post Editorial Page |
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Platinum Passport for State Most Welcome to Secede | Sarah Palin’s Alaska Arizona Oklahoma South Carolina Texas |
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Silver Slinky for Most Spineless Democrat | Barack Obama Harry Reid Evan Bayh |
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Teflon Teabag for Best Wingnut |
Sharron Angle Michele Bachmann Mike Lee Christine O’Donnell Rand Paul |
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Golden Anal Pear for Asshole of the Year | Glenn Beck Jan Brewer Pam Geller Joe Lieberman Mitch McConnell |
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Crystal Douchebag for Lifetime Achievement | Newt Gingrich Joe Lieberman John McCain Pat Robertson Antonin Scalia |
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Hoo boy, I’m guessing now former Tr666p lawyer Abracadabra *did not* get paid upfront in cash,…