We suppose, if we thought about it, that we could twist a font designed for dyslexics into a statement about Our Great National Train Wreck Debt Debate, but that would require making sense of the irrational, and we fear that if we crossed our eyes just so, they’d never become unstuck.

Project Dyslexie [Studio Studio, via Kottke]

Literally:

[Fox]

Niagara Falls town council today announced an ambitious plan to snag some of the upcoming wedding bonanza by turning the falls gay-for-pay. (This is the American side: the Canadian side hasn’t come out yet.) Unfortunately, as is obvious from the picture, no gay man was actually involved in designing the transformation.

When asked for his opinion, gay spokesperson Bruce Boner said, “Eww! I’m gay. Not Italian.”

“‘We cannot elevate nature above people,’ explained Edna Mattos, 63, leader of the Citrus County Tea Party Patriots, in an interview. ‘That’s against the Bible and the Bill of Rights.'” The cause of her ire? Manatee protection. [St. Petersburg Times, via JWMcSame]

Back in a previous life, under this graphic, we would post an occasional item about the utopian silliness of Wired magazine. Our favorite entry ran like this:

“You think Java is important — wait until we have a similar language for storytelling.” —Nicholas Negroponte, Wired, July 1996

FUNCTION Serpent(Gen_3:5) {

   IF (AdamRib == EatFruit) {
      EyeState = Open;
      KnowledgeState = GoodEvil;
      MortalState = SurelyDie;

   } ELSE {
      MortalState = LiveForever;
   }
}

DO SERPENT

Since we posted this to, y’know, a website, it wasn’t like we had a Luddite antagonism to the Internet. It wasn’t even like we weren’t then — and remain now — something of a digital utopian ourself, especially when it comes to the democratizing of mass communication.

But the nature of Wired’s utopian vision was just flat-out hilarious, seeing as it had no grounding in human nature. From the perspective of the Nineties, it was clear that the Internet would accomplish — or, more precisely, allow — Great Things. It wouldn’t, however, turn human beings into something else. Wherever you go in cyberspace, there you are.

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Rebekah Brooks gives herself up to the police and Margaret Drabble admits to having middle-class friends!

The prime minister is hopelessly comprised (even worse than before) and so is Scotland Yard!