“She’s going to learn national security at the foot of the master for the next four years, and most doctors think that he’ll be around at least that long,” said Charlie Black, one of Mr. McCain’s top advisers, making light of concerns about Mr. McCain’s health, which Mr. McCain’s doctors reported as excellent in May.

In other words: as many as 49 percent of doctors are predicting a state funeral for President John McCain, according to his campaign’s chief strategist. Charlie Black, in case you’ve forgotten, earlier this summer sent a message to Osama Bin Laden to hurry up that next terrorist attack so the Geezer can grandstand the tragedy.

Top McCain Adviser: Palin Will Learn National Security From McCain Before He Keels Over [TPM]

So much to choose from… Troopergate… Creationism… That voice that takes the F out of GILF…

Hey, let’s start with her vicious attacks on polar bears!

Earlier this month, the state of Alaska under Palin’s guidance sued Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne in an attempt to reverse his decision to list polar bears as a threatened species. Palin said that scientists’ predictions that global warming will eliminate the ice where the bears live in summer were unreliable.

We all know that six years in the Wasilla mayoral mansion gave Palin a unique authority on climatology, but she instead chose to base her opposition on “a comprehensive review by state wildlife officials of scientific information from a broad range of climate, ice and polar bear experts.”

Just one problem: She lied.

Unless, of course, those “state wildlife officials” somehow didn’t include three marine-mammals specialists in the Alaska Department of Fish and Game who agreed with nine studies the Feds cited in support of the endangered-species listing.

So as far as our naughty librarian is concerned, the polar bears are toast. Say, when’s the next helicopter bear hunt?

Palin questioned whether global warming is melting Arctic ice [McClatchy]

Which reminds us of one of our all-time classic late-night college conversations: A good friend is complaining that he just can’t help himself, while we’re complaining that we just can’t get any. What makes it classic? Honest to gosh, both of us would have traded places with the other.

Although to be frank, his problem would have made for better PSAs.

Sex files: David Duchovny in rehab [Independent UK]

Where’s his flag pin?

McCain Chooses Palin as Running Mate [NYT]

• On a conference call with reporters just now, senior Obama foreign policy adviser Susan Rice argued that there is “a pattern here of recklessness” when it comes to McCain’s approach to various national security issues. (TPM, August 20)
• Rice says the Republican’s “tendency is to shoot first and to ask questions later,” saying he “cheerled Bush’s decision to take our eye off the ball and start a war in Iraq that had nothing to do with 9/11.” (Time, August 20)
• [Richard] Clarke compared McCain to “extreme neo-conservative” policy types because of his early support for the Iraq war and suggested he was “reckless” and “trigger happy.” (MSNBC, August 20)
• Democratic Congressman Adam Smith of Washington, sitting in the audience, rose to ask [former Navy Secretary Richard] Danzig for advice on how Democrats can deliver a tough foreign-policy message that will be credible to voters. When Danzig started to back euphemistically into the question, Smith — a proponent of tougher Obama campaign tactics generally — jumped back up. “Don’t be subtle!” he implored. “Just hit! Just say, ‘John McCain does not have an even temper, and how is that going to factor into national security?”
   
  At that, Danzig played ball.

  “I think John McCain is well-known for ‘losing it’ in a variety of circumstances,” he said — something which has potential policy implications. (TNR, August 26)

• “He has a huge anger problem,” [Barbara] Boxer said. “And he never hid that… I have seen it happen on the Senate floor many, many times… He has exploded at me a couple times.” (Politico, August 26)
• If John McCain wants to have a debate about who has the temperament, and judgment, to serve as the next commander in chief, that’s a debate I’m ready to have. (Barack Obama, Thursday night)

Senator Hothead [Washington Monthly, August 27]

The Geezer has a Dayton playdate with his new Vice Geezer on Friday, although there’s some buzz that he might try to steal some headlines by announcing today. If so, it could be Droopy, the Baby Killer, the Mormon, Governor Placenta, or even Kay Bailey Hutchison (nickname pending), but since we haven’t been paying any attention, we’ll wait for the “surprise”.

Why the quotes? Well, the Post reports that McCain “dropped from public view after a fundraiser Tuesday night in San Diego.” We won’t tell you the identity of the confused elderly gentleman we found wandering on Washington Street that night, but as he watched the convention on our couch, we heard him mutter “Fuck. Now I’ll have to go with that exorcist.”

McCain Is Said to Be Set to Unveil Running Mate Tomorrow [WaPo]

Cannot bear to watch. What is happening? (andy85719, 10:43 pm)

What does this color pantsuit mean? (roxy4hill2, 10:43 pm)

Notice how she is shaking her head “no” as she speaks…. (pumetta, 10:48 pm)

IT’S SOO GOOD TO SEE HER AND HEAR HER SPEAK, BUT I REALLY WANT TO READ BETWEEN THE LINES (Rancho, 10:48 pm)

very nasty look on michelle’s face. i hope somebody gets it on utube (jody in florida, 10:49 pm)

I may never vote for a Democrat again. (mpdamon, 10:57 pm)

why doesn’t she stand up for herself?? (Sunshinelvr, 10:58 pm)

Her heart’s not in it; it sounds canned, or should I say “obotamized”? (Leosroar, 11:00 pm)

Hillry just sold out america (TrishfromCanada, 11:01 pm)

Bill Kristol is talking and he said it was a generic speech so she didn’t sell us out.. (slyt2, 11:12 pm)

she did not give up!!!!!! She did not release her delegates!!! (FLgayGuy4Hill, 11:15 pm)

Delegates Mad as Hell: Scramble for Floor Vote [Puma Pac]