Justice Stevens to Retire After 34 Years [NYT]

Climate-change denier and HCR pearl-clutcher Cleta Mitchell: “There is a lot of discussion among various lawyers and we’ve had some conference calls,” said Cleta Mitchell, a Washington attorney long active in GOP circles. “People are just distraught that the Democrats are even contemplating doing something like this. It’s utter lawlessness to deem a bill passed without voting for it. It’s horrific.” [Politico]

We’re sure there’s a good reason for this, but we’re getting tired of stumbling across news that opens as such:

The Obama administration has asked an appeals court to dismiss a lawsuit accusing former Bush administration attorney John Yoo of authorizing the torture of a terrorism suspect, saying federal law does not allow damage claims against lawyers who advise the president on national security issues.

Such lawsuits ask courts to second-guess presidential decisions and pose “the risk of deterring full and frank advice regarding the military’s detention and treatment of those determined to be enemies during an armed conflict,” Justice Department lawyers said Thursday in arguments to the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco.

The government argues that the Office of Professional Responsibility will take care of slapping Yoo’s wrists, including the stern action of recommending bar association discipline, and victims of war crimes should be satisfied with that.

The unthinkable alternative would be that those responsible for the deliberate, cynical undermining of the nation’s laws against torture would be held accountable for their criminal actions, upsetting the delicate balance of justice that mandates scapegoating as far down the chain of command as possible.

White House wants suit against Yoo dismissed [SF Chronicle]

Antonin Scalia follows judicial activism to its logical conclusion:

Using his “originalist” philosophy, Scalia said he likely would have dissented from the historic 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision that declared school segregation illegal and struck down the system of “separate but equal” public schools. He said that decision, which overturned earlier precedent, was designed to provide an approach the majority liked better.
 
“I will stipulate that it will,” Scalia said. But he said that doesn’t make it right. “Kings can do some stuff, some good stuff, that a democratic society could never do,” he continued.
 
“Hitler developed a wonderful automobile,” Scalia said. “What does that prove?”

Stephen Breyer, sparing us the trouble of a comeback, notes that while flogging may have been legal in the 18th century, our standards of “cruel and unusual punishment” have drifted as well.

Scalia: Some on court inventing rights [East Valley Tribune, via Political Wire]

Update: Scalia didn’t say it…

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Albert Freed, of Dog Track Road, Pensacola — no, this is not a Stan Freburg setup — was excited to win a “dream trip to Hawaii” after selling $20,000 in diet products. Mr. Freed, who weighs about 280 pounds — trust us, it’s relevant — had not indulged himself with a vacation for forty years, and the wife thought he could use a new complement of tighty whities for the occasion. But after sporting his Hanes for a few days, problems began to, um, emerge:

Plaintiff testified he believed sand that he picked up in his swim trunks while enjoying the Hawaiian surf had irritated his penis. Over the next few days he and his wife “walked all over the place” until his condition worsened to the point that he “could hardly walk.” Plaintiff testified his inability to walk was caused by defendant’s defective manufacturing of his underwear which caused his “fly” to gap open. The gap resulted in his penis protruding from his underwear, whereupon the edges of the opening abraded his penis like “sandpaper belts.”

Well, who among us (er, half of us) hasn’t been there? But Mr. Freed, rather than go commando, decided to sweat it out:

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Boston College’s Scott T. Fitzgibbon:

This guy obviously missed his calling – he should be teaching at Regent or Pepperdine.

Boston College Law Professor in Anti-Gay Ad [Above the Law]

You want shrill?  I got your shrill right here. 

You know her.  Her reputation precedes her, and clears out a room faster than a skunk.  Ladies and gentlemen: I give you Wendy Long’s Twitter feed.

WHOA…..Schumer was just overcome with emotion talking about the Nancy Drew stories Soto read! Historic moment. 

Stuart Smalley just said “I may not be a lawyer…” I can’t resist: but he plays one on tv?

If Durbin thinks “calling balls and strikes” is “easy,” let’s put him behind plate in Wrigley Field and see how he does.

Whitehouse says all Soto has to do is “promise” she will “use the WIDE discretion of a SupCt Justice wisely.” Tough one.

Admittedly, this is somewhat tame.  As was the day on the whole, frankly.  Tomorrow, when the questioning gets rolling, her feed might be quite amusing.