Fucking Psycho Talibunny Whimpers Marxist Press is Mean to Her. Therefore, the First Amendment is doomed!

The Talibunny, a confused theocratic fascist from the socialist state of Alaska transformed by her vice presidential candidacy into the comedic sensation of a lifetime, whimpered on a fascist radio show in Washington, DC Friday morning that her First Amendment right to shout mendacious political porno is being threatened by reporters who question the veracity of her claims, for example, that Barack Osama is a space alien who will eat voters’ babies if elected president.

For the Talibunny, it is all a huge conspiracy by the Marxist Elite Media who would step on the throats of the righteous and godly that would speak the truth about the depthless evil that stalks America: godless Marxist reporters who hate America attacking her sooth-saying as ‘negative’ campaigning. What would be left of our freedoms if we could not quote from ‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion’ in every speech and call for the internment of all residents of the United States with three or more vowels in their names without reporters wafting their farts at us?

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A Talibunny Stormtrooper Ready for the Stormfront

Federal authorities are completely freaked out by the possibility of an uprising of enraged neo-Nazis, set on the extermination of Barack Obama and his presidency – a security exposure they believe as potent as an attack by Al Qaeda, according to a report in Newsweek this week.

Waiting in the wings, of course, is the Talibunny for whom the politics of rage, hatred and despair in this campaign have seized her psyche like the first rush of crack in the pristine bloodstream of mall rat – and for whom the neo-Nazi movement provides a ready made army, steeled to take back America from the perfidies and heresies of an Obama administration.

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The Talibunny is a self-made agent of apocalypse straight from the twisted, beer-sodden imagination of Stephen King, a Jesus-crazed Wal-Mart ayatollah bent on the conversion of America into a theocratic dystopia and, finally, a wasteland incinerated in the advance of her apocalyptic fervor exercised in the pursuit of biblical Rapture.

The Talibunny knows that God reveals His plans in mysterious ways though it is obvious to her now that He hath delivered unto her unto a failing, deceived campaign that would provide nothing more – and nothing less – than a pulpit from which she would launch her own own 2012 campaign for the White House.

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Item: AP reports thusly:

Gov. Sarah Palin charged the state for her children to travel with her, including to events where they were not invited, and later amended expense reports to specify that they were on official business.

The charges included costs for hotel and commercial flights for three daughters to join Palin to watch their father in a snowmobile race, and a trip to New York, where the governor attended a five-hour conference and stayed with 17-year-old Bristol for five days and four nights in a luxury hotel.

In all, Palin has charged the state $21,012 for her three daughters’ 64 one-way and 12 round-trip commercial flights since she took office in December 2006. In some other cases, she has charged the state for hotel rooms for the girls.

What was the kids’ official business? Looking adorable.

NEXT!

There may be a simple reason the Talibunny sounds like an uninformed, airheaded fascist bimbo.

It may well be because she is clinically fucking stupid. Her high school SATs – in an unconfirmed document provided exclusively to Stinque – apparently confirm what everyone already knew: there is nothing between her ears but moose shit and dreams of Apocalypse.

Most people’s pets get better SAT scores than Sarah Palin (nee Heath) apparently got in high school in Wasilla. The scores from the Admissions Testing Program below tell the tale.

The top end of the SAT scale is 800. The young dewy Jesus-crazed and fuck-crazed Talibunny barely broke the SAT medians with scores of 425 and 416 in verbal and math examinations respectively.

However, those scores, weighted along a national performance curve don’t even qualify the Fuhrerette-in-Waiting for a place among the average. The Talibunny’s SAT results qualify her for a place among the top scorers of the bottom third percentile – yes, with vinyl siding salesman and crystal meth merchants.

CLICK on the image to see full-sized rendering of the Talibunny's sad SAT report

Talibunny needs to get naked, Paris says

Schlong-gobbling amateur porn dilettante Paris Hilton gave some unsolicited campaign advice to adulterous, racist theofascist GOP freak-show at large Sarah ‘Talibunny’ Palin: take your clothes off.

Sensible stagecraft it may well be.

Face it.

The freak show attraction that the Talibunny has devolved into has much less to do with her theofascist politics than it does with desperate, angry, sour old fucking guys driven insane with the idea that there is a woman out there of apparent pestorkability that shares their medieval politics.

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UPDATE:  here’s an even better Palin answer generator.

No, this is not from the Sarah Palin quote generator – it’s real:

Couric: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

Palin: Well, let’s see. There’s, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but …

Couric: Can you think of any?

Palin: Well, I could think of, any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I’m so privileged to serve, wouldn’t be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.

More of the Palin horror show after the jump.

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