Let’s set the Not-So-Wayback Machine for last Wednesday and drop in on the National Journal…

The first skirmish in the war over the GOP WH nomination takes place this weekend among thousands of conservative activists, and veterans of previous straw polls see a tight battle between ex-MA Gov. Mitt Romney and ex-AK Gov. Sarah Palin developing at this week’s Conservative Political Action Conference.

In an informal survey of GOP party leaders, strategists, activists and pundits representing backers of virtually every potential candidate in the field, a narrow plurality say Palin will win this weekend’s straw poll. 22 of 48 GOPers surveyed chose Palin, while 20 chose Romney.

Whoops!

Of course, nobody expected Ron Paul to deny Mittens a fourth straight win as Biggest CPAC Loser. Nobody except the Paultards who punked the vote, of course.

And while we’ll agree that past failures are no guarantee of future failure, the only reason we paid attention to the CPAC Straw Poll was because everybody told us to.

So enjoy the disarray, gang. We’d enjoy it more ourselves, if Demrats only had a clue how to take advantage of it.

CPAC Vets See Tight Romney-Palin Race [Hotline On Call]

Ron Paul Runs Away With CPAC Straw Poll [Village Voice]

We spent some quality time last night debating with ourself the best way to frame an Important Discussion about student rights in cyberspace, using three recent examples:

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Down the street from our ancestral home in Eugene, Oregon, once stood a small private institution devoted to the education of what are now called “special needs” children. It was formally known as the Pearl Buck School, named in honor of the Nobel-winning author.

But to us kids, it was simply where the retards went.

We were very, very cruel about that, as only kids and Republicans can be. We didn’t have “shortbus” as shorthand in those days. If you wanted to snap at someone on the playground, you’d accuse them of going to Pearl Buck.

Language works that way. Today’s well-meaning euphemism is tomorrow’s slur. In the defining example of our era, “colored people” was proudly codified by the NAACP, devolved into a vicious taunt for decades, then re-emerged as “people of color”. Even “mental retardation” began as a polite substitute for “idiot” before we kids got hold of it, giving rise to “special needs” as a subsequent replacement.

You really can’t escape it. At best you can acknowledge it — and turn it on its head.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM2AxGYn8jU

As a young lad, trapped in a world we never made, we suffered from a recurring nightmare: the TV set would go dark. A tiger’s head would appear on the screen. And then the tiger would jump out of the TV set. And eat us.

That last step was presumed — we have no recollection of actually being devoured, followed by a muffled roar of “Theyyyyyy’re GREAT!” from somewhere beyond the intestinal tract. The moment of consumption was the moment of awakening, scared shitless.

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We’ve often wondered why South Carolina seems to have more douchebags participating in its political class than other states. It’s not like douchebags are a rare commodity among politicians — especially among Republicans — yet when you need a go-to douchebag to brighten your day, often as not the Fightin’ Palmettos will glow where the sun doesn’t shine.

How can this be? Well, after flippant juxtaposition careful research, we have an answer:

Feral pigs.

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Paragon of personal integrity Joe T. Plumber lashes out:

“I don’t owe him shit. He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it… McCain was trying to use me. I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.”

Oh, and Sarah Palin is a sellout, Birthers and Truthers need to get a life, and Barry’s not such a bad guy for a socialist.

Too bad Demrats can’t get shit done, or we’d really enjoy this.

A few minutes with Joe the Plumber [State House Sound Bites]

At 8:25 a.m. Wednesday, the geek-news website ReadWriteWeb posted an article about a new industry partnership, titling it “Facebook Wants to Be Your One True Login”.

That’s when the trouble began.

9:12 a.m. “Ok If I have to I will comment,I love facebook so right now just want to log in if thats ok with you..lol Keep up the good work…”

9:39 a.m. “ok cool now can I get to facebook”

9:47 a.m. “The new facebook sucks> NOW LET ME IN.”

9:53 a.m. “when can we log in?”

9:54 a.m. “I WANT THE OLD FAFEBOOK BACK THIS SHIT IS WACK!!!!!”

It goes on. And on. And on. Comment after comment, people complaining that they can’t log into Facebook.

Why? Because they thought the ReadWriteWeb post was Facebook. Seriously. No fucking shit.

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