Ceci n’est pas un Facebook Login

At 8:25 a.m. Wednesday, the geek-news website ReadWriteWeb posted an article about a new industry partnership, titling it “Facebook Wants to Be Your One True Login”.

That’s when the trouble began.

9:12 a.m. “Ok If I have to I will comment,I love facebook so right now just want to log in if thats ok with you..lol Keep up the good work…”

9:39 a.m. “ok cool now can I get to facebook”

9:47 a.m. “The new facebook sucks> NOW LET ME IN.”

9:53 a.m. “when can we log in?”


It goes on. And on. And on. Comment after comment, people complaining that they can’t log into Facebook.

Why? Because they thought the ReadWriteWeb post was Facebook. Seriously. No fucking shit.

12:11 p.m. “i liked the old way better what advantages do we have with the new way takes to long to sign in fix it back”

12:12 p.m. “I am going to delete my account (IF I CAN EVER LOG IN) as this SUCKS BIG TIME ! If this does not get back to NORMAL you are going to lose a lot of folks who hate this and as you can see from all the comments they think it sucks too !!! facebook was great for connecting with old friends …now, NOT SO MUCH. SO HOW DO I LOG IN ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????”

ReadWriteWeb’s comment system allows logging in with Facebook IDs. But that wasn’t the problem. Instead, they discovered that their post ranked very high in a Google search for “facebook login”. People weren’t using “facebook.com” (or, say, a bookmark) to log into Facebook. Instead, they were Googling “facebook login”, and clicking on a result. Every single time.

Even after ReadWriteWeb updated their post with a boldface alert: “Dear visitors from Google. This site is not Facebook.

1:10 p.m. “im going back to my fuckin space u ass holes have to fuck up a good this !!!!! dumn asses”

2:31 p.m. “i think this new facebook is awful , please put it back the way it was ….thank you”

It continues until well past midnight, when finally the joke posts overwhelm the fucking retards honest inquiries. It’s well worth a visit — but please do not attempt to ingest liquids while reading.

Or, if laughing uproariously at clueless civilians isn’t your style, you may enjoy instead this ridiculously pompous article by Charles Petersen at the New York Review of Books:

To call MySpace “ugly” would be roughly equivalent to categorically denouncing graffiti — to praise Facebook for its “clean” design, akin to celebrating tract housing.

MySpace’s more permissive atmosphere and working-class aesthetic help explain why Rupert Murdoch paid $580 million for the site in 2005. The surprise came when Facebook, an apparently elitist Web site, caught on with members of all classes and succeeded MySpace in early 2009 as the most popular social network in America…

While many teenagers may prefer to decorate their rooms with the paraphernalia of hip-hop and drugs — and still continue to use MySpace in huge numbers — their parents have chosen to live in the suburbs for safety, privacy, quiet, and architectural uniformity, qualities that Facebook alone was prepared to provide.

See, it’s all about class — and race. MySpace is hip, urban, working-class. Facebook is White Flight to the safety of a gated community. To have a qualitative judgment about either just reveals your intellectual dishonesty.

Really, the NYRB article is just as hilarious as the ReadWriteWeb commenters. You keep expecting Marshall McLuhan to step into frame and tell Petersen he’s full of shit.

Facebook Wants to Be Your One True Login [ReadWriteWeb]

In the World of Facebook [NYRB]


Is there any adult (outside of Mark Foley R-Pedobear and his ilk) who actually wants to hang out with teenagers (who isn’t one of their kids)?

I haven’t since I was one and that was… um… over 20 fucking years ago.

marshall mCluhan reference……..you kill me!

i remember the first time i saw the FB linque right here at our homestead.
and thought…eww.
now that i’ve been sucked into it’s vortex, i found those articles interesting, informative and hilarious.
i had no idea we fb addicts are so eeeleeete.

i had a funny interaction with missRome on fb yesterday.
i said, would people please stop throwing sheep, tractors, hearts, angels and pillows at me?
she said, i bet that’s a sentence you never thought you’d use.
no.no, i didn’t.

@baked: Yeah, before I dipped my toe into fooboo, Ma Nabisco showed me around and I said “WTF with all this flinging crap?”

@baked: A Marshall McLuhan reference bundled with an Annie Hall/Woody Allen reference. He’s the master.

@Mistress Cynica: i recall that scene so often because i’m too often arguing with stepmonter people who are talking out their asses.

The “people think site X *is* Facebook” thing reminds me of Joel Spolsky’s three principles of user interface design:

– Users don’t read stuff (chapter 6)

– Users can’t use the mouse (chapter 7)

– Users can’t remember anything

Sadly, these are true far more often than you’d think – even users who are operating a supposedly mission-critical business system tend to display these behaviors…

On the other hand, some of the sites with FB login don’t help when they pop up a “you are now leaving FB” page when you follow an outbound link.

@al2o3cr: One network administrator who had years of experience in technical support once told me, “The average user is fucking sad.”

@ManchuCandidate: I have found that whether you want to hang around a teenager depends on the teenager; if they are intelligent, they are great. Most don’t take themselves so fucking seriously as adolts. Ponderous, fucking ponderous, most grown-ups are.

@FlyingChainSaw: The average user is the audience, and if they find your product inefficient because it takes more time to master than it saves, you fucked up designing it.

Okay, the advisory message on ReadWriteWeb just made me choke on my coffee. Step away from the sharp objects, people:

Dear visitors from Google. This site is not Facebook. This is a website called ReadWriteWeb that reports on news about Facebook and other Internet services. You can however click here and become a Fan of ReadWriteWeb on Facebook, to receive our updates and learn more about the Internet. To access Facebook right now, click here. For future reference, type “facebook.com” into your browser address bar or enter “facebook” into Google and click on the first result. We recommend that you then save Facebook as a bookmark in your browser.

I find FB useful for keeping up with the breeders in my life. And playing Scrabble (Dodger & baked, time for a three-way rematch!) Apparently when you’re upper middle class/overeducated and you breed you lose 30 IQ points and the ability to socialize with childfree friends for the first seven years of the kid’s life, so it’s the only way I can interact with them.

@Mistress Cynica:


also…i just posted a bunch of garden pics on FB.
of interest to no one but you and benedick.

Quote of the day from Tea Part HQ Texas:

[W]hat I am witnessing is an attempted defilement of the concept of what the Tea Party’s purposes are and where we are going. The bastardization of our message I find bilious and disingenuous on its face..

Oh yeah? Well I find you disingenuous on your face, buddy.

@Benedick: I just sent Nojo a photo via el Libro de las Caras from a Teabagger rally/Rick Perry campaign event featuring Talibunny that can join the pantheon of Moran FAIL signs. I hope he’ll post it at some point.

@FlyingChainSaw: Or, as the IT guy in my neck of the woods is fond of saying, “PICNIC” (problem in chair, not in computer).

@baked: Gorgeous garden. Fair warning: If you’re snowed in somewhere, baked photos will make you weep.

@Prommie: Oh, it’s not that. It’s regularly being confronted by people who call for support and the techs have to ask them if they’ve ever emptied their trash since they bought their computer. This is not an eccentricity in a pivot table or DB query routine that offends some users’ sensibilities or sails through a specific users’ blind spot. How do you design around lack of no common sense without having a Jimminy Cricket routine barking at you, ‘hey, shithead, save the file?’; ‘hey, shithead, empty trash’; ‘hey, shithead, don’t log onto your banking site until you run a removal tool for the session hijacker trojan’; etc.

@mellbell: True. I can’t imagine what it must be like to work email support at a place like Yahoo! or AOL, if they even bother.

@mellbell: OMFG, I am so using that from now on. I have spent way too much of recent months becoming an ad hoc Web geek on some projects and if I get one more dumb ass “How do I?” email I’m going to crawl through the tubez and punch them.


How can something be “billious…on its face”? What does that even mean?

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: It means that on its face… it is bilious. To say nothing of disingenuous. And such as. Per se.


Billious out of its face, maybe. Not really, but it at least makes a kind of physical sense. Is it code of some kind, perhaps?

Lord, Lord, Lord these people are stupid.

Oh, and by the way, I’m getting a little sick of the “Liberals are Condescending” meme they’ve been pushing lately. If your ideas are stupid, based on racist or ignorant premises, or you are a fat sack of hate-shit then yes, I am going to condescend to you until you grow up and get informed. Period. Know why? Because you deserve to be condescended to, that’s why. And fuck off, teabag assholes, I have a hangover. Go protest giving poor people food or something.

@ManchuCandidate: Most teenagers don’t even want to hang out with other teenagers. Trufax.

I only ever signed up for Myspace because of peer pressure (I’m weak, I know) and I only made a Facebook so that I could beat my friends’ scores in Pac Man. Both are interesting concepts in theory, but fucking idiotic in practice.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Yeah, I know. I should be ashamed of lording my mighty high school education over all of the people that don’t seem to understand that censuring political correctness might make you look like an insensitive asshole.


Right? How dare we think our political view is superior! We should disagree with them by adopting their policies and opinions!

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Oh, and by the way, I’m getting a little sick of the “Liberals are Condescending” meme they’ve been pushing lately.

That’s another one I’ve ignored this week. But apparently there’s a backstory to the WaPo editorial — they had the headline in mind, and went looking for someone to write the column.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I honestly don’t understand why elitism has stopped being part of the human condition and started being part of the liberal condition. Obama really needs to take a lesson in humility from Cheney. Bush 43, too. He didn’t need to go to any fancy prep school or get into the Ivy League to become president.

@JNOVjr: Actually, elitism is part of the neocon condition — they’ve been flinging that meme for twenty years, in pretense of solidarity with the demon sheep who follow them.

But like mom sez, stay away from TNR.


What’s wrong with The New Republic? I like it. It’s obstensively liberal and it’s expensive to subscribe to so it makes me feel smart. Plus, Postmodern Poetry and reviews of forgin documentaries I’ll never see…

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I am condescending. Also effete and an elitist. I am also pompous and opinionated. I get away with it on account of my smokin’ bod.

@Benedick: Which is why we should elect more hot democrats.

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