Glenn Beck, desperately trying to change the subject from his spurned affair with Eric Massa, blows the lid off a Shocking! conspiracy known only to Socialists who listen to popular-song lyrics:

How many of us go the Fourth of July fireworks display, we see the fireworks blasting, exploding in the air, and we hear “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen, and we’re like, Yeah! Born in the USA! And you get filled with patriotic pride, and then you find out that Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” is anti-American!

Beck, who would have been twenty in 1984, clearly had access to better drugs than we did. Nobody told Ronnie’s Kids to mindlessly chant a palpably antiwar song — they did that all on their own. The rest of us have been laughing our asses off at them for twenty-six years.

Beck and crew call Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” “anti-American” [Media Matters]

How long can you keep from strangling this cute kitten while reading a Tom Friedman column? Let’s find out!

An election does not a democracy make — and Iraq’s politicians still have yet to prove that they are up to governing, nation-building and both establishing and abiding by the rule of law.

So do America’s politicians, and they don’t even have a foreign invasion for an excuse.

Oh, look! Kitty’s licking herself! She’s so adorable.

Read more »

Walmart swears this photo isn’t what you think. It’s not that Black Barbie is only worth half as much as White Barbie, it’s that Walmart is trying to get rid of Black Barbie to make room for new inventory.

Okay. It’s worse than what you think.

Black Barbie Sold for Less Than White Barbie at Walmart Store [ABC, via Raw Story]

Photo: FunnyJunk

We managed to avoid this yesterday, but finding nothing else worthy of notice, we’re compelled to spoil your morning:

“I’m… naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me because I wasn’t going to vote for the president’s budget,” Massa said. “Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?”

Hey, it was either that or monkeys on crack.

HOH’s One-Minute Recess: Massa’s Naked Rahm Run-In [Roll Call]

It just doesn’t get any better than this:

In what could be the ultimate marine smack-down, great white sharks off the California coast may be migrating 1,600 miles west to do battle with creatures that rival their star power: giant squids.

No, really. It doesn’t. Trust us.

Leviathans may battle in remote depths [LAT]

Left: A snow Venus de Milo painstakingly crafted — with artistic license for the six-pack — by Maria Conneran and her family, of Rahway, New Jersey.

Right: After the Rahway police investigated an anonymous complaint “of a naked snow woman.”

Nude snow sculpture in Rahway leads police to request ‘snowlady’ cover-up [Star-Ledger, via LuxMentis]

The next time “homegrown terrorists” attack Bossier Parish, Louisiana, the volunteers of Operation Exodus will be ready. We certainly feel safer knowing they’re 1,568 miles away.

‘Operation Exodus’: Louisiana Sheriff Taps Locals For Emergency Security Plan [TPM]

Operation Exodus Emergency Plan Unveiled [Bossier Sheriff’s Office]