We have no business being in Afghanistan.

Almost ten years in, that’s not a particularly bold statement. Ten years ago, we may have preferred an investigation to an invasion. Eight years ago, we may have preferred keeping our eyes on the prize, instead of diverting our attention to Iraq. If we were a close student of the situation, we might offer any number of substantial reasons why our adventure there is a bust.

But what finally settles our judgment is a simple point: We can’t handle the responsibility.

We, meaning We Americans. That our government can’t handle it was proven years ago.

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We’re very late to this one — we caught the echo, not the original event — but if we didn’t formally document the existence of Penis Gummies, we would just feel bad about ourself.

Oh. Bubba and Talibunny. Right. Well, Penis Gummies are in the news because Katie and Suri sampled them at Serendipity 3, a swanky Manhattan joint that features a $25,000 edible-gold sundae. And, looking at its photo page, it seems the proprietor likes to pose with fashionable politicos.

So there.

No, you’re right, we’re not being totally honest with you. The photos are legit, but the real reason we’re bothering to include Bubba and Talibunny is that we’re too chickenshit to run a product shot of Penis Gummies all by themselves. We have to wake up to this site too, y’know.

Katie Holmes “Horrified” by Suri Penis Gummies Incident [Us]

You may recall the squirmish a few years ago around Sally Kern, an Oklahoma state representative who wasn’t afraid to stand up for straight thinking:

Studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades. So it’s the death knell of this country.

The response was, well, fierce — if by “fierce” we mean that a rally against her remarks drew all of 300 souls, while fingers tapped furiously nationwide:

Thousands have sent e-mails criticizing state Rep. Sally Kern for comments that were posted on the Internet in which she calls homosexuality “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam,” the legislator said today.

And then America moved on to the next circus. This was March 2008, after all — that year’s fun was just getting started.

Jump cut three years. Sally Kern is still an Oklahoma state representative, having been handily reelected by what must be her equally bigoted constituency in 2008 and 2010. She’s doing just fine — and hey, she even has a new book out in July!

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The problem with American political discourse today — well, one of them — is that it’s easy to say something mind-blowingly stupid, and hard to find the will to spend the next hour taking it down. Take this example from America’s Favorite Frothy Mixture of Lube and Fecal Matter:

The reason social security is in big trouble is we don’t have enough workers to support the retirees. Well, a third of all the young people in America are not in America today because of abortion, because one in three pregnancies end in abortion.

In a just world, Brian Williams would post that quote on screen, and the nation would join him in a hearty round of laughter, no explanation needed. In fact, a regular segment on Self-Evidently Idiotic Things Said By National Politicians could even save the network newscasts from their inexorable ratings decline.

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As you may have heard, The Preznit of These United States addressed Our Exceptional Nation on a matter of Grave Importance last night.

Or, if you live on the Left Coast, yesterday afternoon. 4:30 Pacific, to be precise.

How Gravely Important was the matter that The Preznit couldn’t wait for an entire time zone to get home from work?

But the Administration also recognized that some networks, like ABC, had important priorities of their own: the programs they had scheduled for prime time Monday — like “Dancing with the Stars,” the second most-watched show on television.

Proving once again that you might be The Leader of the Free World, you might hold the fate of dictators in your hands, you might even call a better bracket than most of the country, but you do not fuck with Disney.

Before Libya, White House Must Negotiate With ABC [NYT — Try the Paywall!]

Juan Cole, who knows more than you do, would like you to know that you’re a Moral Cretin for not agreeing with him:

If the Left opposed intervention, it de facto acquiesced in Qaddafi’s destruction of a movement embodying the aspirations of most of Libya’s workers and poor, along with large numbers of white collar middle class people.

Go ahead. Feel the Guilt. We’ll wait.

And don’t try to rationalize your way out of it, you heartless creep:

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Our guest columnist this morning was a deputy prosecutor in Johnson County, Indiana, until moments before this email was published Thursday.

From: Carlos Lam
Sent: Saturday, February 19, 2011 11:39 AM
To: Governor Scott Walker
Subject: stay strong!

Dear Gov. Walker:

This Hoosier public employee is asking that you stay strong and NOT to cave to union demands! The way that government works has to change, and — by all appearances — that must begin in WI. We cannot have the public unions hold the taxpayer hostage with their outrageous demands.

As an aside, I’ve been involved in GOP politics here in Indiana for 18 years, and I think that the situation in WI presents a good opportunity for what’s called a “false flag” operation. If you could employ an associate who pretends to be sympathetic to the unions’ cause to physically attack you (or even use a firearm against you), you could discredit the public unions. Currently, the media is painting the union protest as a democratic uprising and failing to mention the role of the DNC and umbrella union organizations in the protest. Employing a false flag operation would assist in undercutting any support that the media may be creating in favor of the unions.

God bless,

Carlos F. Lam

Reached Tuesday prior to publication, Mr. Lam claimed his email account had been hacked, saying “I am flabbergasted and would never advocate for something like this, and would like everyone to be sure that that’s just not me.” And then he fessed up Thursday and quit.

Indiana prosecutor resigns over Walker email [WisconsinWatch]