Our guest columnist is America’s Best-Paid Historian.

At one point early in my career, I introduced the Northwest Ordinance for Space. And I said when we got — I think the number is 13,000 — when we have 13,000 Americans living on the moon, they can petition to become a state.

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Over at NRO, John Hood revives an argument we haven’t heard for awhile:

A competent presidential campaign, one that could really pose a challenge to a sitting president with a massive war chest and organization, would never settle for the media spin that Mitt Romney had a 15 percent federal tax burden over the past two years.

A competent campaign, and candidate, would explain that Romney’s real federal tax rate on his investment income was more than 40 percent (being conservative, after deductions and such), since the revenue stream was subject to both a personal tax rate and the corporate tax rate.

Shall we? Let’s.

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Monday night’s debate was, by most accounts, a bust. This was predictable within the first minute, when Brian Williams announced that, because he is a Network Anchor and not some cable lackey, the entire audience had been outfitted with Hannibal Lecter headgear.

The silence was deafening. And telling.

Without a ravenous crowd to rally him on, Newt Gingrich was boring. He’s a candidate who, more than most, needs a studio audience to score points. Turn off the hootin’ and hollerin’, and Newt’s just a pompous ass, not a rouser of rabble.

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The biggest box-office flop of 2011 — and perhaps all time — is Disney’s Mars Needs Moms. It cost $150 million to produce, perhaps half that to advertise (we can’t find a precise number, but half the production budget is typical) — and took in less than $7 million opening weekend.

It wasn’t for lack of trying.

The movie was produced by Robert Zemeckis, who has a pretty decent track record with these things. It was based on a Berkeley Breathed book. It came with the usual collection of EXCITED BLURBS!!! And hell, it was a Disney kids movie. Money in the bank, right?

Well, right up to the moment until people saw it. Your money is worthless against Bad Buzz.

That includes — you know where this is going — your Super PAC money.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yf_005EqDM

Mitt Romney, when pressed about his vulture capitalism and tax returns, whines and waffles.

Three-time Defender of Marriage Newt Gingrich, asked about Mrs. Gingrich II’s claim that he wanted her blessing to fuck Future Mrs. Gingrich III on the side, responds with, well, this.

You can’t help but think you’re not worthy to share existence with him. You also can’t help but think that Newt would be the best thing to happen to Democrats since Sarah Palin.

Four years ago today, we were all four years younger. Also, God commanded a field-test of the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Good Morning, Ladies & Gentlemen [Homofascist’s Army, 1/19/2008]

The Year in Review [Stinque, 12/31/2008]

Our favorite Dentist/Lawyer/Candidate/World’s Leading Obama Eligibility Challenger asks her readers to crowdsource some incoming Google Alerts:

“I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO READ THESE ARTICLE, BUT IF SOMEONE READS THEM, PLEASE, CHECK, IF THERE IS ANY INFORMATION THERE, THAT CAN BE USED IN SUBPOENAS”

Happy to oblige! Let’s see, something about Georgia, something about Alabama, something about Talibunny’s upcoming CPAC speech… Wait, what’s this?

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