Lindsey Graham, South Carolina’s Douchebag Also-Ran, has had problems keeping up with the SC ratpack lately, even being teabagged at his own event for not being douchebaggy enough. And with today’s feeble attempt, we may have to start calling him Beetlebaum:

“Environmental policy has to be good business policy,” Graham insisted. “What would happen in this country if you build a hundred nuclear power plants in the next thirty years? It would create millions of jobs. And we need to use the coal that God has given us.”

Oh, please. God-given coal? We’re years beyond the Flintstones meme. Didn’t you hear pollution is patriotic? That’s where the action is.

Sen. Graham: ‘We need to use the coal that God has given us’ [Raw Story]

Hey everybody, it’s bonfire season! Break out the wieners, marshmallows — and Bibles:

A Baptist Church near Asheville, N.C., is hosting a “Halloween book burning” to purge the area of “Satan’s” works, which include all non-King James versions of the Bible, popular books by many religious authors and even country music.

Included in the Amazing Grace Baptist Church’s burn notice is infamous heretic Mother Teresa, who spent her life as one of Christ’s Concubines (so many brides, so little time). Alas, their list of Ungodly Country Music doesn’t include Miley’s Dad, but there’s still time.

Since the event is BYOB, you might check your shelves for Good News for Modern Man, the Evidence Bible, the New International Version Bible, the Green Bible and the Message Bible, which the church considers “Satan’s Bibles.”

Then again, as Texas has witnessed, burning Bibles without crafting joints from the pages is a waste of good rolling paper.

North Carolina church to burn ‘Satan’s books,’ including works of Mother Teresa [Raw Story]

Well, one judge just bought himself a ticket to hell, and is bringing the rest of the state down with him.

A judge on Wednesday struck down a 2006 state law that required the Kentucky Office of Homeland Security to stress ‘dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the commonwealth.’

On the upside, this will increase accountability by ending the longstanding Kentucky practice of blaming God for bureaucratic incompetency:

Homeland Security officials have been required for three years to credit ‘Almighty God’ in their official reports.

Conservatives in the state will no longer be able to blame God for Kentucky’s terrorist attacks, national disasters, and general shithole nature. However, there is currently no law against blaming the Jews, blacks, gays, Muslims, or liberals. Read more »