Our guest columnist is ChatGPT.

Write a 500-word Stinque post making fun of Elon Musk

Elon Musk is a man known for his big ideas and even bigger ego. From his failed attempts at launching a car into space with SpaceX, to his ridiculous plan to colonize Mars, Musk seems to think that he can do no wrong. But let’s be real here: the guy is a joke.

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Anakin: I’m tired of writing essays.


Padmé: But you’re still going to write them, right?


Anakin: (blank stare)


Padmé: But you’re still going to write them, right?

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Ten days in, and here we are.

Pretty much as expected, really. We were promised a wave of executive orders, and we got them. We were promised time to think about things not relating to an idiot tinpot wannabe dictator, and we got that.

And if Republicans didn’t exactly promise they would try to sweep the Capitol siege under the rug, we’re not surprised we’re getting that, too.

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Bo gets a little sister…

…and NASA declassifies Apollo 11 transcripts, including a discussion of which astronaut was responsible for the turd in space.

[White House, HuffPo]

More photos here.

I want to live wherever this is happening:

“Oliver Burton’s dying wish was to visit Buckingham Palace and have afternoon tea with the Queen. Unfortunately, Her Royal Highness was unable to fit the 10-year-old into her busy schedule of waving at crowds from afar — so understudy Dame Helen Mirren stepped in to take her place. Oliver, who has Down’s syndrome, has been battling various forms of cancer almost his entire life, and was recently diagnosed with terminal spine and bone marrow cancer.” [Gawker]