Rudy Giuliani, whose ability to count has been severely disrupted by the Underpants Bomber, is now joined by Ed Koch, whose eyes have been permanently crossed from assessing the lack of damage:

Of course the vast majority of Muslims, there are a billion, 400 million, are not terrorists. But there are hundreds of millions who are. They want to kill every Christian, every Jew, every Hindu who won’t convert.

Adds Koch, “We’re going to be at war for the next thirty years.” Not with odds like that, we aren’t.

Ed Koch: Most Muslims Aren’t Terrorists — ‘But There Are Hundreds Of Millions Who Are’ [TPM]

Senate Republicans have decided that eggnog trumps politics, so the final-final (but not final-final-final) vote on the healthcare bill is now scheduled for 8 a.m. Thursday.

Action then moves to the conference committee, where plenty of mischief still awaits:

As the Senate prepares to vote on health care reform, American voters “mostly disapprove” of the plan 53 – 36 percent and disapprove 56 – 38 percent of President Barack Obama’s handling of the health care issue, according to a Quinnipiac University poll released today…

While voters oppose the health care plan, they back two options cut from the Senate bill, supporting 56 – 38 percent giving people the option of coverage by a government health insurance plan and backing 64 – 30 percent allowing younger people to buy into Medicare.

So Americans support the provisions that Douchebag Joe undermined, but Douchebag Joe won’t support the provisions Americans want, so the only way to get a successful healthcare bill is to embrace failure, and does somebody smell smoke?

U.S. Voters Oppose Health Care Plan By Wide Margin, Quinnipiac University National Poll Finds; Voters Say 3-1, Plan Should Not Pay For Abortions [Quinnipiac University]

Jake Tapper:

apparently the standards are more exacting for an ASU honorary degree these days

The Corner:

His self-worship has created real problems for him and this will only feed into it. His vanity is his Achilles heel. The Nobel committee actually did him no favor.

Erick Erickson (RedState):

I just stopped myself from passing gas. I should get the Nobel Peace Prize for fighting against global warming and air pollution.

Read more »

Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize statement this morning:

Well, this is not how I expected to wake up this morning.

After I received the news, Malia walked in and said, “Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize, and it is Bo’s birthday.”

And then Sasha added, “Plus, we have a three-day weekend coming up.”

So it’s — it’s good to have kids to keep things in perspective.

I am both surprised and deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel Committee.

Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations.

Read more »

Well, that was fun while it lasted — the Guardian is throwing cold water on the Telegraph’s claim that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had a trim at birth:

“There is no such meaning for the word ‘sabour’ in any of the Persian Jewish dialects, nor does it mean Jewish prayer shawl in Persian. Also, the name Sabourjian is not a well-known Jewish name,” [expert David Yeroshalmi] stated in a recent interview. In fact, Iranian Jews use the Hebrew word “tzitzit” to describe the Jewish prayer shawl.

The Telegraph based its claim on “Sabourjian” being Ahmadinejad’s birth surname, saying it meant “cloth weaver.” But the Guardian says sabor actually refers to “thread painter,” an artisan who works with carpets. And Mahmoud’s mom claims to be a descendant of Muhammad, which the Guardian mischievously says “is equivalent to the Cohens.”

As a Lapsed Lutheran, we have no authority to judge the competing claims — our mother’s maiden name means “eater of RyKrisp.”

Ahmadinejad has no Jewish roots [Guardian UK]

Whew, that was close — when Bill O’Reilly came out in favor of the Public Option last week, we were sure we’d need to shop Beelzebub Outfitters for parkas before spending our eternity surrounded by evil penguins.

Happily, the Afterlife’s Global Cooling problem has been resolved. “The Internet is a safe haven for liars,” says O’Reilly, explaining that what he meant was a private-insurance pool for his non-BMW-driving viewers, not a government-run plan that denies robber barons their rightful profits.

“It just drives me crazy that you can’t have an honest dialogue in this country anymore,” says O’Reilly. We’ll enjoy reminding him of that one when we’re sharing loofahs in Hades.

Meet the new Voice of Reason at Fox News…

O’REILLY: But you know, I want that, Ms. Owcharenko. I want that. I want, not for personally for me, but for working Americans, to have a option, that if they don’t like their health insurance, if it’s too expensive, they can’t afford it, if the government can cobble together a cheaper insurance policy that gives the same benefits, I see that as a plus for the folks.

Bill O’Reilly: Socialist. Did we miss an exit?

O’Reilly endorses the public option, which he previously called ‘socialism.’ [Think Progress]