Hell’s Boiler Room Back in Service
Whew, that was close — when Bill O’Reilly came out in favor of the Public Option last week, we were sure we’d need to shop Beelzebub Outfitters for parkas before spending our eternity surrounded by evil penguins.
Happily, the Afterlife’s Global Cooling problem has been resolved. “The Internet is a safe haven for liars,” says O’Reilly, explaining that what he meant was a private-insurance pool for his non-BMW-driving viewers, not a government-run plan that denies robber barons their rightful profits.
“It just drives me crazy that you can’t have an honest dialogue in this country anymore,” says O’Reilly. We’ll enjoy reminding him of that one when we’re sharing loofahs in Hades.