Former NYC Mayors Agree That Failed Terror Plots Are a Threat to Their Sanity

Rudy Giuliani, whose ability to count has been severely disrupted by the Underpants Bomber, is now joined by Ed Koch, whose eyes have been permanently crossed from assessing the lack of damage:

Of course the vast majority of Muslims, there are a billion, 400 million, are not terrorists. But there are hundreds of millions who are. They want to kill every Christian, every Jew, every Hindu who won’t convert.

Adds Koch, “We’re going to be at war for the next thirty years.” Not with odds like that, we aren’t.

Ed Koch: Most Muslims Aren’t Terrorists — ‘But There Are Hundreds Of Millions Who Are’ [TPM]
36 Comments

Wow, hundreds of millions of terrorists. You’d think they’d be a bit more… organized by now. Y’know. Gay-agenda-like and all that. Only, terrorists blow things up instead of making them more fabulous.

Maybe this is the kind of fevered imagining you have if you want to justify why we’re spending so many godzillion dollars on defense against a nebulous enemy who keeps us in check with glorified pipe bombs.

We have more dumb former-mayors than any city in the United States. Koch is a blithering idiot – I believe he supported GWB at some point. A nice Jewish boy supporting a Texas imbecile. Great.

@IanJ: What about the Chinese. I know a guy who says all those symbols on the walls of their restaurants (HA!) translate to say, ‘On the Signal, Kill the White People!’. There is ONE BILLION of them and their outposts are here, in every strip mall in America!

@FlyingChainSaw: “They speak Chinese, and they spread disease, they’re out to get me . . . .” RIP Phil Ochs.

@IanJ: Sometimes you have to blow things up to make them more fabulous.

@FlyingChainSaw:
I know that most Chinese tattoos given to white people actually say:

“White Douchebag”
“Tiny Penis”
“Limit Two Riders”
“Easy White Girl”

@ManchuCandidate: Hehehehehe. I wonder what they *think* they say.

@ManchuCandidate: That’s it, my next foreign-alphabet tattoo is coming from a rifle owner’s manual, ideally somewhere around where it describes the caliber. Maybe someone will mistake that for a penis measurement. “7.62 millimeters, eh? pretty impressive, pencil-dick!”

@IanJ:

Has anyone ever suggested that you may just be taking this gun nut thing a little too far?

@FlyingChainSaw:
Usually they think it’s “Honor”, “Strength”, “Willpower” or something crazy like that.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: No, not really. It was the least esoteric thing I could think of that was still reasonably random. Next you’ll be telling me that F-hole closeups are a bad idea. (A belly dancer I know has F-holes tattooed on her belly, it’s actually quite hot, in a nerdy kinda way.)

@ManchuCandidate: Or “Peace” or “Hot ass” (lit. flaming mule).

@IanJ:

I have no idea what an F-hole is, but if it’s anything like what I’m thinking I’d better suspend my commentary on the subject.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: It’s the french-curved shaped opening on the top sound board of a violin, viola or cello.

@redmanlaw: Go ahead, taunt us, we don’t have “skies” here, we have a vaguely bright fog, visible occasionally between trees and buildings.

Poor Ed Koch, I remember him for “if its yellow, let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down.” Many otherwise sane liberal jews lost their minds after 9-11, I don’t understand it. The way Israel continues on and doesn’t lose its mind (the public, not the government) over constant terrorism attacks, should make them understand more than most that the fear and overreaction is itself the point of terrorism, and giving way to it makes the terrorists win. If the Israelis were as fearful and pusillanimous as our GOP and our Liebermans and Koch’s, they would have moved out and abandoned Israel decades ago.

@FlyingChainSaw: And jazz guitars. Great idea for a pair of tattoos.

@FlyingChainSaw: Isn’t that an ogee too? That’s the only thing I thought I absorbed from Line of Beauty other than Hollinghurst’s extremely tedious obsession with Henry James.

@redmanlaw: I’m not going to bother YouTubing it, but I think “Blinded Me With Science” also has a Man Ray reference. With bow.

@Dodgerblue: Yes, its common on semi-hollow body models of electric guitars.

@nojo: Dude, now I have the “Blinded Me With Science” earworm…crowding out my “Saved by Zero” earworm from yesterday’s 10 @ 10 episode on KFOG.

my daughter has a chinese tattoo. she announced at 16 that she was getting one, and wanted me to go with her. we picked out “good luck”
(my suggestion of the symbol ‘chai’ was shot down) so i went and held her hand. the tattoo artist said it was a first for him.
i have a tiny tattoo that i got when i was 16, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. that was ballsy for those times, bikers and hookers were the only girls who would consider it at the time. a rebel at the core. now that EVERY one has one, i want it removed.
(and i double checked with the chinese restaurant next door before any ink started whirling)
prommie, jnov, do you remember ‘eddie’s’ at 3rd and race? that’s where i got mine. took very big ovaries.

@baked: The outlaw beautification program now is branding, yeah, have some psycho take a white hot piece of iron and plant it on your skin and let it boil. The stupidist, vilest tattooing trainwreck I’ve ever read about was the two brothers from one of the Carolinas being arrested or pursued by the cops. Apparently they had home brew tattoos on their foreheads that read SIEG HEIL, scrawled into their flesh with darning needles and the ink from a dismembered school kid’s pen.

@flippin eck: No. Formally, the term is an f-hole, and references a specific shape of a hole in a piece of wood or other materials fabricated as part of a stringed musical instrument. Ogee is more a term of art from the architectural disciplines.

@FlyingChainSaw:
that sounds lovely….
mine is a tiny red heart, the size of a mole on my pelvic bone, where it can’t be seen. most of tatts on display are fascinating in their tastelessness. my ‘brand’, of course, is tastefully trashy.

RE: my take on F-holes as tattoos for women: Visually stunning and sexy? Yes. Objectifying as hell? Also yes.

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh well, that book equaled a zero sum gain of knowledge for me then.

@baked: Wow, did you have to hire an orthopedist to tattoo the bone?

@flippin eck: Yeah, when I saw the reference and knowing what I know is the real term for the vault in the sound board, I suspected it was a demeaning double entendre in the context of the strip club venues of the sort Tomcatt frequents.

@FlyingChainSaw:
My favorite dumb-shit with a tattoo story:
I witnessed an arraignment of a guy who was being charged with nine counts of attempted murder after going over to a rival’s house, spraying the house with bullets as the rival’s extended family was in the front yard having a barbecue, and shooting nobody but rival’s grandma. (Grandma survived, she was shot in the thigh. Homeboy was a terrible shot). There were of course dozens of people there, police got lots of reports and they were easily able to locate and positively ID the shooter since he had the name of his gang tattooed in Gothic letters on his FUCKING FOREHEAD! (Not to mention his dead brother’s name tattooed on his neck and DEATH and HATE tattooed on his nuckles).

The most disturbing tattoo story I’ve heard in a while is last year a gangbanger in Fresno (home of Fresno State Bulldogs, which is also the name of the big Central Valley gang) had a guy tattoo a bulldog pawprint on his six year old son. The judge dismissed the mayhem charge a few months ago that could have sent them away for life, but I think Dad of the Year and the tattoo “artist” could still go to prison for five or six years on the remaining charges. The dad’s defense is that the son asked for the tattoo because he “wanted to be like dad.” Keepin’ it Klassy!

@FlyingChainSaw:

on the skin on top of the bone silly. and i never regretted it, i forget it’s there, it’s so tiny.

@SanFranLefty:

normally i think tattoos in general are repulsive, mine and bakette’s are cute. my fave tattoo story i saw on miami ink, ever watch that show? the cutest little old lady went in and requested a large decorative “A” on her upper arm…in case her body needed to be identified after a hurricane.
she was darling! and not such a bad idea either.

when my grandmother saw mine for the first time, as i was getting out of the shower, she clutched her pearls, clutched the walls and shrieked that i now could not be buried in a jewish cemetery. as i explained my cremation plans, she slowly slid to the floor muttering in yiddish.
i miss torturing her.

@baked: My most tattooed friend (and she has gorgeous work done by tattoo artists of the highest level from Tokyo, SF, Amsterdam and Copenhagen) is also one of the most turbo-Jew persons I know. I think tattoos and Jews can co-exist, but I understand the older generation’s freakout on the topic, least of which is based on where you can be buried.

@baked: Oh.

So, it was like a family safety measure or something to have the grandparents watching you take a shower?

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