Why We Still Miss Defamer
Mark Lisanti went on a Twitter tear Thursday, following the (officially denied) rumor that Jay Leno would be returning to the Tonight Show, bumping Conan O’Brien back to post-midnight. Let’s watch the keeper of the Giant GrazerHead at work!
Perhaps out of psychological self-preservation, I’m for now choosing to believe that TMZ’s wrong about the Leno/Conan thing. No. Nono. No.
THIS JUST IN: Leno to get chair next to Conan, “to chime in whenever he feels like he has something to add.”
UPDATE! Leno to do Tonight Show monologue, sit in Conan’s lap for first half-hour of new format.
BREAKING! NBC announces Leno to sit in jalopy on Tonight Show stage, intermittently honk horn to throw Conan off his game.
TOLDJA! In surprise move, Ben Silverman returns to NBC, named new host of Tonight Show! Jay Leno takes position as kazoo-playing bandleader.
EXTRA! NBC Comcast announces plans for surprise Jaywalking Network. “We can’t let a national treasure like Jay go,” says Zucker from bunker.
THIS ALSO JUST IN! Disoriented Carson Daly seen wandering Universal CItyWalk, asking tourists if he’s been named new Tonight Show host.
YET ANOTHER TWIST! Conan remains as Tonight host, but Jay spends entire hour onstage in Late Shift-style closet, eavesdropping on interviews
UPDATE! Zucker declares Leno and Conan “Co-Emperors of NBC,” puts ten billion dollars in burlap sack, escapes to Moon in emergency rocket!
LENO/CONAN REAX: Jimmy Fallon refuses to check latest news until Wii Tennis game against ?uestlove is concluded.
Mark Lisanti [Twitter]
Enough. [Stinque, 2/24/2009]
Oh how I miss Lisanti and Defamer that was! I’m actually pretty out of the loop with celebrity/entertainment news now because I refuse to consume it without a delicious coating of snark.
@flippin eck: Since Richard’s back, I’m reading Defamer again. Today’s story: Was Tiger playing with another man’s nine-iron?
@SanFranLefty:
you know, he always set off my gaydar. I believe it.
I’m still kicking myself. That lovely mix of Asian and African-American was available, liked it trashy, and DID DUDES. I was available, trashy, and am a dude.
I may never be the same.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…