Georgia GOP icon and Georgia House Speaker Glenn Richardson failed to kill himself last month and hung on grimly like only a disgraced, grasping GOP automaton can, spreading the pig-fucker hatred and the worship of ignorance his party represents even while it was apparently driving him to suicidal despair.

Or was it?

His unfortunate former wife, Susan Richardson, would dispute that interpretation of Richardson’s girlish alleged attempt to off himself by sucking down a pile of sleeping pills on November 8, calling his mommy at the last moment, boo-hoo, to say he wuvved her, oh, mommy, I die, mommy, mommy, mommy, just in time for her to call the paramedics.

In fact, she says with unimpeachable rectitude that the worthless pigufucking piece of shit staged the whole thing as a play for sympathy when the halfwitted fucktard fascist issued a press release blaming his alleged suicide on her righteously divorcing him after she caught him pestorking a lobbyist. Read more »

You’d be forgiven for thinking the END IS NIGH when you learned that Lou Dobbs doesn’t hate all Mexicans any more. In fact he loves them so much that the recently departed (from CNN) immigrant basher and birther conspiracy theorist has decided that rather than shipping all 12,000,000 of them back to Mexico, Dobbs now opines that, well heck, come to think of it: wouldn’t it just be a dandy ol’ thing to offer the good ones a path to legalization?

“Whatever you have thought of me in the past, I can tell you right now that I am one of your greatest friends and I mean for us to work together,” he said in a live interview with Telemundo’s Maria Celeste. “I hope that will begin with Maria and me and Telemundo and other media organizations and others in this national debate that we should turn into a solution rather than a continuing debate and factional contest.”

Mr. Dobbs twice mentioned a possible legalization plan for the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants in the U.S., saying at one point that “we need the ability to legalize illegal immigrants under certain conditions.” Read more »

As someone who never recovered from high school civics, we have strong beliefs regarding the right of the accused to a fair trial, including a robust defense, whatever the cost. We consider it an abomination that someone charged with a crime may lack the resources to defend himself against the deep pockets of the state, or may bankrupt himself in the process.

But in Jay Bybee’s case, we’ll make an exception:

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That only took — what — four days?

A Marine reservist armed with a tire iron beat and chased a man he thought was an Arab terrorist and even called 911 to say he was detaining the man, police said.

But the man he assaulted was actually a Greek Orthodox priest visiting from overseas who spoke limited English, police said.

It’s even worse than it sounds. The priest became lost in Tampa while driving to bless another priest Monday afternoon. He finally gave up, pulled into an apartment parking lot, and asked the reservist for help.

“Instead of offering help, Bruce struck the priest on the head with a tire iron,” reports the local rag.

Hey, can’t be too careful. Did we say “the swarthier the better” in this week’s poll? We wish we were joking.

Tampa police: Marine reservist attacked Greek priest he mistook for terrorist [St. Petersburg Times, via TPM]

Update: Meet the assailant!

Like Randall Terry, the Westboro Baptist Clown Troupe is usually so predictable in their outrage, it’s not worth paying them notice. But today we’ll make an exception:

Westboro Baptist Church, the fringe-of-the-fringe anti-gay group famous for protesting at military funerals and claiming that God is punishing the country for its tolerance of homosexuality, was spotted this morning protesting outside Sidwell Friends, the school attended by Sasha and Malia Obama.

Protesters were carrying signs with anti-gay, anti-abortion and anti-Obama slogans, slowing down traffic all along Wisconsin Avenue this morning.

“Anti-Obama” here applies to the entire family, as the Clown Troupe performance schedule makes clear:

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Commentary’s Linda Chavez couldn’t wait to exploit a tragedy, as her 5:27 p.m. Thursday post makes clear:

We still don’t know what was behind the killings at Fort Hood this afternoon, in which 11 soldiers and the killer died, but President Obama’s rushed press conference was surprising in its flippancy nonetheless. Before he got to the issue on everyone’s mind — namely the deaths of Americans in uniform — the president gave a “shout-out” to government bureaucrats gathered for a previously scheduled conference at the Interior Department, complete with appreciative chuckles. He treated the event like a pep rally rather than a tragic occasion with a wider audience than those gathered in the room. I wonder how many media outlets will compare Obama’s performance to President Bush’s “Pet Goat” moment on 9/11. I won’t hold my breath.

We’re not sure whether we qualify as a “media outlet”, but here goes…

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…for screwing up the West Coast premiere of Venture Bros. Everyone in the wrong time zone saw the first fifteen minutes. Twice.

Growing mob of angry fanboys [Adult Swim forum]