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It's clobberin' time.That only took — what — four days?

A Marine reservist armed with a tire iron beat and chased a man he thought was an Arab terrorist and even called 911 to say he was detaining the man, police said.

But the man he assaulted was actually a Greek Orthodox priest visiting from overseas who spoke limited English, police said.

It’s even worse than it sounds. The priest became lost in Tampa while driving to bless another priest Monday afternoon. He finally gave up, pulled into an apartment parking lot, and asked the reservist for help.

“Instead of offering help, Bruce struck the priest on the head with a tire iron,” reports the local rag.

Hey, can’t be too careful. Did we say “the swarthier the better” in this week’s poll? We wish we were joking.

Tampa police: Marine reservist attacked Greek priest he mistook for terrorist [St. Petersburg Times, via TPM]

Update: Meet the assailant!


Thank god our boys are beatin’ ’em up over here, so they don’t have to beat ’em up over there. Or something. (“The swarthier the better” is still at -1%, get with the program here, people!)

Probably visiting an old timer from the Greek community around Tarpon Springs that formed up decades ago around the sponge industry.

I can’t believe that any Marine could be so incompetent in hand-to-hand combat to allow a defenseless man to escape after clubbing him with a tire iron. Under these circumstances the priest’s skull should have been fractured. There’s got to be more to this story.

Here’s one enthusiast’s comment on the news article, “Better safe than sorry HUU RAH!” We’re really living in a crazy time. Come on 2012.

Reminds me of the patriots here, in 2001, who beat up Sikhs because they were obviously terrorists.

@blogenfreude: That – and this – askeers me more than cannibal anarchy. On the other hand, wait for the ‘Obama’s a secret mooslum’ to be cued up soon. There hasn’t been the proper amount of mouth foaming in at least a coupla days.

@Just Nabisco: Oh, I am sure there are tons of sites where it is taken as an article of faith that the Ft Hood psycho is just one of the millions of mooslem tayliban that are waiting for the signal for Obama to kill all the white men and carry off all of the white women to rape and breed warriors for the caliphate.

Vets/active duty personnel enjoy vocal community support here in NM when facing murder charges.

Ex Marine chases and kills man for attempted car theft, sentence eventually reduced to nothing.

Ex Marine trails, kills, possible burglar (whether he was is disputed); charges dropped.

National Guardsman on leave from Iraq kills man in road rage incident
(see comment in support of guardsman)

@FlyingChainSaw: “Probably visiting an old timer from the Greek community around Tarpon Springs that formed up decades ago around the sponge industry.”

You continue to amaze me.

TJ: Hey, how about Blackwater bribing Iraqi officials to obstruct a FBI investigation and in violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act?

@Jamie Sommers: That article mentioned Waqan Hassan, who was murdered in cold blood in Texas for wearing a turban, after 9-11. Hassan had just moved from New Jersey to start that business, and left his wife and daughter behind here, to follow soon after.

After he was killed, the INS tried to deport his family, he was the naturalized one, they werent yet citizens. I was working for congressman Rush Holt then, and the widow and daughter lived in the district. It took him about 2 years to get a special bill passed to grant citizenship to the wife. What was nice was the NJ legislature gave the daughter a free ride at Rutgers.

@SanFranLefty: There was a major movie in the 60s about those greek sponge divers, and Tarpon Springs for years had a huge greek restaurant that was a tourist destination, I ate there, and went out on the boat where they put a dude down in a hard-hat diving suit to grab a few sponges, when I was a lad.

TJ/ On a lighter note:


or perhaps:


The same story, two classic headlines shamelessly cribbed from the comments. Thought the Stinquers would appreciate.

@al2o3cr: Palin is just crabby because she hasn’t eaten for a while and needs a hot lunch.

@SanFranLefty: Long story but I been there a couple of times and read up on the history while in the area. Still, I should tell you that you continue to amaze and worry me slumming with these unworthy goons like Jon Hamm and Hugh Grant.

Meet Jasen Bruce, assailant by day, male model by other day.

What a fucking country.

@nojo: That reminds me, when will we see the Full Johnston on Playgirl?

@SanFranLefty: December? I’m sure we’ll hear the klaxons well in advance.

@SanFranLefty: Carly Fiorina: “Let me do for California what I did for HP.”

Can anybody tell me whether there was an extra-special crop in Northern California a year or two back? Because I just saw Up.

Oh dear Christ on a clamshell!!!

I go away and have my brain taken out, rinsed and rebooted and come back chastened and vowing not to be rude to those who don’t deserve it and look what I find!

I can’t cope with news and such as. Howevs:

@FlyingChainSaw: Tarpon Springs. George Innes. The only one of the Hudson River School who could actually paint. Spent a lot of time there and painted it a lot. Sponge?

@redmanlaw: About the marines: We have seen how they’re trained? Why are we surprised they’re insane? It’s like the ballet but worse. At least in the ballet you get to fuck your boyfriend but if you’re stuck in the marines all you get to do are those chants about Mary Jane Rottencrotch. I know this for a fact because I saw Full Metal Jacket. Oh. And the Marines tried to recruit me after I got drafted and two days before I fled the country left to take up a job offer in London. Imagine: me: a US Marine. I would scream and throw the rifle away just like I did when I was playing a Mercan submariner in a Bond movie along with hundreds of beer-crazed extras with bren guns. Those things can hurt.

@SanFranLefty: Blackwater bribing officials? I may not sleep tonight.

@FlyingChainSaw: Hot lunch: yay! That’s gonna help me sleep.

@nojo: Ew. I wouldn’t hit it with your dick. No doubt smells like rancid lard kept too long in the fridge from the roid sweat. And those tatts? That might fly in California but we have higher standards in the North East (excepting NY, CT, MA, ME, VT, NH, NJ, DE). Clearly crying out for discipline and lots of it.

Oh, and… Just to make this day more special, I started to get the robo calls from NOM which is trying to head off the SS marriage vote at Albany. Like that’s gonna happen.

I’m still a quivering mass of raw emotion. Though I must say, I do hanker for prom’s crabs.

Oh, and everyone go click on Netflix and rent That Hamilton Woman. You wanna see glamor? You’ll see glamor. The scene on the terrace at Naples? “Now I have kissed you in two centuries”? And those sets? A Korda production. Watch out for wartime propaganda that breaks your heart. And plus – Trafalgar is stunning. Hollywood never did better. Spoiler: The Brits won. Wootah!

I think I should quit while I’m ahead.


@Benedick in mourning: Darling, we’ve missed you!! air smooches to you!

@SanFranLefty: You too. I got totally out of line and needed to drink from the forest pool where unicorns go to refresh themselves. I met other Stinquers there and we skipped about and talked about how hot Noje is. As is well-known, philosophy geek is the hottest kind of geek.

@Benedick in mourning: Welcome back. BTW this: “philosophy geek is the hottest kind of geek” did not work for me when I was in college. Must be a new phenomenon.

@Dodgerblue: That was the hippie era, when philosophy majors were a dime a dozen. Nowadays, you can’t find them anywhere since kids’ parents are forcing them into finance or pre-med.

…and if you read the full article you will note that Jasen appears to be using the Ghey Panic Defense.

Just whom did he think he was posing for in those pictures?

@Benedick in mourning: Mustabeen gay Arab panic, than which there is nothing worse.

@Benedick in mourning, @Prommie:

The man yelled “Allahu Akbar,” Arabic for “God is great,” the same words some witnesses said the Fort Hood shooting suspect uttered last week.

“That’s what they tell you right before they blow you up,” police say Bruce told them.

No, darling. If you’re worthy (and they’re swarthy), that’s what they tell you right before they blow you.


I knew a Phenomenology PHD in the nineties. He sold steroids for a living.


And after that’s debunked, I’m sure he’ll switch to the “roid rage” defense.

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