Frankendicks

You too can have an enormous schwanzstucker!

Have we ever mentioned how some stories give us this thrill going up our leg?

One day artificial penis tissue could be grown to help men, new findings in rabbits now suggest.

After implantation with replacement tissue, lab rabbits that once had damaged penises had working organs and could produce offspring…

All rabbits with the bioengineered penises were just as active as normal rabbits — they tried sex within a minute of introduction to females.

Now before you bring on the apocalyptically vulgar with that tantalizing gristle of information, bear in mind that reconstructive penile surgery is for therapeutic purposes only. “Of course,” adds researcher Anthony Atala of Wake Forest, “you cannot control how the technology is used in terms of what patients want.”

Atala need not be so coy. If a Swiss medical school can market an anti-aging cream derived from an aborted fetus, we’re sure Wake Forest will handle its robocock with the utmost delicacy.

Artificial Penis Tissue Proves Promising in Lab Tests [Live Science]
23 Comments

frankendicks maybe. but no more weird than frankenboobs, frankenbutts or frankencalves.

this will be big. (heh)

Winston-Salem, NC will see the world’s biggest traffic jam caused by many SUV drivers (especially Yukon/Navigator/Hummers), most if not all AXE body spray users, a sizable portion of frustrated old men and supposedly penile challenged ethnic groups.

Therapeutic purposes, my ass. Based on past history with silicone breasts and penis pills, almost every male who has inadequacy issues is going to add as much Bugs Bunny Penis tissue as they can afford or handle.

Too bad it can’t help
a) stamina
b) lousy oral technique
c) being a selfish lover

@ManchuCandidate: Careful there, you’re just substituting being a technique snob for being a size snob. Just a different color jersey playing the same game. Better just not to care.

Dick is overrated. So is pussy. Cause of so much stupid.

@Prommie:
I guess I wasn’t clear. I wasn’t referring to receiving oral, but rather giving it.

@ManchuCandidate: I know. Don’t fret, no insult or criticism was intended.

Penis, schmenis, anyway, they need to get to work on livers, pancreases, lungs, important things. I want my headless cloned fetus/organ donor damnit!

@Prommie: Here here. These mad scientists need to get their priorities straight, such as.

@ManchuCandidate: AXE body spray users — such, er, low hanging fruit.

TJ/ Speaking of dicks, GM execs butthurt they can’t offer $500k+ pay packages.

Someone should suggest they hire a new CFO from Mexico – after all, they’ve already outsourced most of their manufacturing there, and I hear those guys work for cheap.

@al2o3cr: How do you think they’ll be able to afford new bioengineered penises on less than $500K/year?

It’s really a hardship.

@al2o3cr: Goddamnit, I could even use a new asshole, speaking of butthurt, nothing is as it was, all is creeping toward decrepitude.

But I don’t need no stinking dick tissue, thank you very much, plenty of dick tissue here, no sirree, nope, I don’t need any of that stuff, no sir.

Let’s give the full name of the research institute, shall we? It’s Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center’s Institute for Regenerative Medicine. Yes, jeebus is opposed to stem cell research and such as, unless of course it helps GOP perverts get erections and bigger dicks.
@Prommie: Are you nuts? Do you know how much more $$$ there is in penises? Viagra comes from research for a heart drug or something. Like it’s ever been used for that purpose. Think of the Shareholders, dammit.
Also, WFU to Duke: Suck my dick.

BTW, dark sidetrack here, but, speaking of headless clones harvested for organs, I am fairly sure thats not science fiction anymore, anyone more aware than I, I believe that what with commercial pet-cloning services now in operation, that it would not be hard to clone a person, you would just need to find a scientist corrupt enough to do it, and really, what would keep you, if you were in fact evil, from cloning yourself (a surrogate womb would be required, of course) just to kill the young “you” after birth for the organs? I mean, you know, I suppose we will know for sure when Cheney is still around in 30 years, or Bill Gates has his gala 200th birthday party (kinda the way copywrite keeps getting extended just to protect the Mouse, I suppose that when the hyper-rich start wanting to live to 200, thats when the bioethics rules will be re-written.)

@Prommie:
I agree completely. I have absolutely no doubt that humans have been cloned.
perhaps not entirely successfully in all cases but cloned.

btw
the scene preceding the one pictured at the top of this post when Madeline bursts into song is one of the funniest ever put on film.

@Capt Howdy: Having first seen the movie in a theater, it was years before I realized Teri Garr had a line after “Wow! What knockers!” The audience laughter probably extended to the next horse whinny.

@Capt Howdy: “I have absolutely no doubt that humans have been cloned.” I’ve worked with a few.

I can’t imagine wanting to live 200 years. The very thought gives me the shudders.

@Benedick in mourning:
really?
I have always found the idea of immortality fascinating and wonderful.
I think I would make an excellent brooding vampire.

@Capt Howdy: A very bored brooding vampire. If I lived forever, the ennui would kill me.

@Capt Howdy: The father of (former) Garbage singer Shirley Manson was part of the group of Scottish geneticists who cloned the sheep Dolly in 1996. Shirley was the third Scotswoman to sing a James Bond theme movie theme, btw, The World is Not Enough. The other two are Lulu and Sheena Easton.

Went to the range this morning, shot my primary hunting rifle preparing for an upcoming hunt and the the WWII rifle (needs a new scope). I also cleaned up after the slobs, including Mr Iraqi Freedom vet (per his threads and hat) who brought his kids with him. Mr IF left all his unused targets up on the berm and did not pick up his spent brass, nor did he or his kids help as I loaded the truck with old targets, trash, and a shot up TV. Dude is from the same mold as the guys who leave bags of trash by mountain streams.

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