It Doesn’t Count if You’re Diddling Yourself on Camera for Your Boyfriend

We know what you're thinking. Stop it.

Carrie Prejean would like us to know that the “sex tape” that caused her lawyer’s testicles to shrivel and her mother to do a spontaneously uncanny impression of Eric Idle’s Protestant Wife isn’t what you think.

If, that is, you’re thinking of a commercial production for which she received freelance wages and was required to fill out a W-4.

Prejean replied — insert teasing pause here — yes, there was a tape she had done as a teenager. She made it for a distant boyfriend whom she loved at the time. She said TMZ can call it a “sex tape” if it wants. But she was alone on the video, and no one else was in the room.

We’re glad that’s settled. After all, “as a Christian she’d never claimed to be perfect.” True enough. Although we vaguely recall some line about glass houses. We’ll have to look it up when we have a moment.

Prejean was divulging her innocent naughtiness to an indulgent Sean Hannity, as it happens. And both agreed that “conservative women seem to be targeted for criticism by liberal media.” We stand with them in protesting the unfairness of it all.

In other news, Laura Ingraham tells Fox that “Nancy Pelosi did everything but sell her own body to get this bill passed.”

Carrie Prejean confirms ‘sex tape,’ but … [LAT]

Ingraham is just jealous because she found a taker.

“conservative women seem to be targeted for criticism by liberal media”

Yeah… it’s not the conservatism or woman part that is the problem. It’s the whole living in hypocrisy thing, but what’s the point? We know you Contarded don’t see yourselves as anything but pure as snow anyway.

If Hannity really cared about Prejean he would have asked to sniff her fingers.

Or to show him exactly what she did. Just for research purposes.

@ManchuCandidate: So the boyfriend sold the not-sex tape? Heckuva guy.

@ManchuCandidate: Right, a studio reenactment, while standing up and facing the camera for an extreme close-up.

She should go on Howard Stern, he has this Sybian machine, it could help with the re-enactment.

For those of you who don’t know … I turned 50 today. A somber moment …

And I just got the Playstation 3 my mommy bought me! WHHHHEEEEEEEEEE!


Darling, I am hitting 42 on Friday. I know how you feel.


Hapy Birthday, dood. You’re a gentleman and a scholar.

ADD: And MarvelUltimate Alliance 1 and 2, Left4Dead 1 and 2, Civilization for PS3 . I need other children to play with.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Marvel Holiday special comic compilation now on the newsstands.

@blogenfreude: I’ll tip one in thy honor esta noche.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: But will I have the strength to not buy GTA?

I’ll look at the others, but right now I’ve got Gran Turismo. I’ve never had a game console before … this should be fun.


Welcome to your new addiction. Don’t worry, it’s only about as bad as cigarettes or heroin.

@FlyingChainSaw: I know … I was even able to walk to Best Buy unassisted to get the new wireless router I needed to get the PS3 working. I found the router easily and was able to walk back to my apartment without asking anyone where I was.

No one else was in the room but the camera panned from her hoo ha to her face … yeah, right.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Some people have their family and friends set them up and duct tape them to the brim of a hat so olders can hit a button and ‘follow the car home.’

@blogenfreude: Fuck, you must save a bundle on food with meals on wheels and everything. Do they give you cigarettes, too?

Apparently she was 17 when the tape was made, so she and her former bf can add “child pornographer” and “statutory rapist” to their respective CVs.


Happy b-day! Who’s dishing out your spanking?

@Original Andrew: I suspect that’s why TPM didn’t run it months ago when it was first offered to them. They may not have standards, but their lawyers do.

@blogenfreude: Awesome. Totes feliz dia, dood (seven months behind ya, with knees and a back to prove it).

On a related note, you would be proud of the defensive driving stuff Ive been learning. Today we learned to ram cars at just the right point to drive through a vehicle baricade, and I got to take an ‘uparmored’ Blazer on a spin course for a set of controlled front and back slides. We also had to drive through some simulated ambushes; I only survived the first. They give private lessons, I’m thinking of gifting my pops a day at the track.

Saturday we do guns. I’ll channel my inner RML when we pick up the AKs.

@ManchuCandidate: Jesus loves you. Jeebus, on the other hand, loves to watch you.

@ManchuCandidate: I’m turning 59 next month. As Larry David is reported, in these very pages, to have said recently, every erection is a miracle.

@Original Andrew: You can’t make this stuff up. Bravo.

@Just Nabisco: This another UN assignment? Got a G8 gig coming up but it’s all blah blah. No bam bam. How do you get those gigs?

@FlyingChainSaw: Nope, US civvie this time around. The UN never gave us this level of training. Send me your coordinates and Ill dish on how I got here.

@Jamie: COTD!

@Just Nabisco: Spray and pray, yo.*

/pulls copy of The Gun Digest Book of the AK & SKS from shelf. Hmm, all kinds of stuff on operating, disassembling, and building the AK, plus chapters on worldwide variants and descendants such as the Galil, but not much on actually shooting the rifle.

* Kidding. I’d think that all the usual stuff on sight acquisition, breath control, and stability would still apply. I’ve shot the AR 15 a few times, never the AK.

ADD/DELETE/RE-ADD – DB refers below to an earlier version of this post in which I slightly bemoaned not joining the foreign service then, upon further reflection, described the joy and fulfillment of being able to go home for traditional activities and how I did that and also went hunting, fishing and firewood cutting in a one week period.

@Jamie Sommers: Wait, I can watch, and see her hoo ha? I missed the link.

@Original Andrew: If Prejean really cared about pornography, she’d learn how to fuck farm animals.

Watch the last ten minutes of tonight’s Keiff Oh when he’s talking about her. I was watching it on the plane and laughing so hard I was afraid I’d be detained by U.S. Marshals.

ADD: Her mannerisms in speaking are bizarre.

@SanFranLefty: Its amazing that the right is still clutching her to their bosom, and crying “liberal bias” against those who point out that the christian darling is a blazing hypocrite.


Well Prommie, never say I don’t love you. I just spent 20 minutes looking for a tape of Carrie Prejean masturbating, all for you, buddy.

The only thing I could find was her being snotty to Meridith Viera. How can a person be snotty to Meridith Viera? It’s like slapping your favorite aunt.

Anyway, I did learn that Michael Jackson liked to pee in cups in front of people. No muff-diddling, though.

I did my best.

Waitahminute! Someone let slip in the nooz that the wimmens wank?

There’s ah-gonna be some uncomfortable conversations south of the Mason-Dixon Line tomorrow.

@Benedick in mourning:

HA! There you are! Where were you? I was worried!

ADD: Um, what are you in mourning for, hon? Besides the American Musical Theatre, that is.

Happy birthday to the ‘Catt and Bloggy.

@rptrcub: I’ll hoist one for El Gato, to whom I also extend best wishes on behalf of Mrs RML. I tipped a glass of Emergen-C (double dose of tangerine) in honor of bloggy last night.

Aww, hey thanks everybody! With luck I’ll make it another year at least!

@Original Andrew: Here’s “Fingerblast” by Adria Amram, daughter of OG beatnick David Amram. (“I remember when she was a baby, etc . . . “) Also check out “Mom Song” and “Euro Song”.


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