Our guest columnist is Texas Ron Paul supporter Robert Morrow, who placed the above ad in the Austin Chronicle, and whose accusations we can neither verify nor resist.

The same man who used a presidential prayer rally (8/6/11) for his personal ambitions and who often spouts Christian buzzwords and Bible talk to advance his political career is a flagrant adulterer, having sex with women who are the approximate age of his daughter Sydney, age 24.

I know this because I am a patron of Austin strip clubs. My friends and excellent contacts in the Austin strip club community tell me that Rick Perry, a la Bill Clinton, has an enabling entourage who gets him “young hotties” to have sex with — both here in Austin and especially when he is on the road. I learned about this before the 2010 Texas primary. I had an attractive stripper tell me about her direct dealings with Rick Perry. She said that she was attempting a Monica Lewinsky-type act upon Gov. Rick Perry (oral sex) but that in her words Perry was “too coked up” to perform sexually! When it came time for the stripper to leave, Perry gave her an outrageous amount of money, so large in fact that it probably means that Perry is taking cash bribes or illegal gifts to fund his extracurricular activities. Perry is not a rich man and I doubt he is spending that much of his own money on the women. (Actually sweetheart real estate deals have made the man unusual money.)

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Hang on, folks, the next few weeks are gonna get ugly:

On September 11, 2001, terror attacks on New York, Washington, D.C. and Pennsylvania killed almost 3,000 people. On September 12, the survivors, the families of the victims, the first-responders woke up to find their lives irrevocably altered — as did all Americans.

Ten years later, Yahoo! is asking: How have you changed since September 11?

Quite honestly, we haven’t. Other than being ten years older. But we can’t blame Osama for that.

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“The Obama campaign’s point person in New Mexico recently sent an email to supporters defending the president’s position on the debt deal and bashing the Nobel Prize winning New York Times columnist Paul Krugman and the ‘Firebagger Lefty blogosphere.'” [HuffPo]

Political Wire:

Jonathan Alter says that New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) is conducting focus groups in preparation for a possible Republican presidential bid in 2012.

NBC:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s (R) office shot down news — reported by Newsweek’s Jonathan Alter — that the governor is conducting focus groups in preparation of a possible White House bid.

“It’s absolutely not true,” Christie spokeswoman Maria Comella told First Read.

What does seem to be true is that Rick Perry hasn’t cleared the field. Yet.

“As the presidential campaign season begins to get into full swing, radio host Rush Limbaugh is again raising questions about President Barack Obama’s personal background, wondering where all of his former girlfriends, classmates and students are.” [WND] “Limbaugh has been married four times and has no children.” [Wikipedia]

It’s not our place to be Shocked! by Rick Perry, mainly because we have standards for these things, and Deranger Rick is far from meeting them. (For the record, if you want to push our button, suggest that Barack Obama might meet Bobby Kennedy’s fate.)

So we’re still waiting to see how Rick’s act plays outside the Usual Venues, and it might be some time before we get an indication one way or another. Meantime, we are a little surprised that it’s not playing as well inside the Usual Venues as we had been led to expect. Here, courtesy of Salon’s Steve Kornacki, is the — pardon the expression — round-up:

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Meanwhile, from the other half of the Batshit Ticket:

On her victory lap of Iowa [Sunday], Straw Poll winner Rep. Michele Bachmann paid repeated tribute to her local roots, and repeatedly mentioned her family reunion that day, citing it as an excuse for her late arrival at a local party event in Waterloo.

But Bachmann’s mother and two cousins told POLITICO’s Emily Schultheis that Bachmann didn’t attend the reunion, though her husband and children did. Her spokeswoman, Alice Stewart, didn’t respond to two emails asking for an explanation of the disparity.

If only our political press corps would be more diligent about fact-checking substantial claims, we’d be a lot better off.

Bachmann skipped family reunion she cited [Politico, via Political Wire]