One of the Boy Romneys bitches that everybody wants to see Daddy’s tax returns:

“He’s certainly not afraid of anything, he’s not hiding anything. But I heard someone suggest the other day that as soon as President Obama releases his grades and birth certificate and sort of a long list of things, that maybe he’d do that.”

Speaking of paperwork, we’d like to thank Master Matt for providing an excuse to dredge up a classic 2007 moment:

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A kitty. An iPad. Fruit Ninja.

We have no shame.

[via Know Your Meme]

Robert Reich wants to fix what ain’t broke: “My political prediction for 2012 (based on absolutely no inside information): Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden swap places. Biden becomes Secretary of State — a position he’s apparently coveted for years. And Hillary Clinton, Vice President. So the Democratic ticket for 2012 is Obama-Clinton.”

• “A Santorum Surge?” [NRO]
• “The Rick Santorum surge is here” [Salon]
• “Republican Romney tops Iowa, Santorum surges” [Reuters]

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“Texas Gov. Rick Perry revealed a hardening in his stance on abortion Tuesday, telling a crowd in Iowa that he opposed abortions in all cases, including when a woman had been raped or the victim of incest. Previously, Perry had not opposed the procedure in cases of rape or incest, or when the mother’s life was threatened.” [CNN]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZACT4UgBog

We used to say that we learned storytelling from Bill Cosby, absurdity from George Carlin — and timing from Chuck Jones, the genius behind our favorite Warner Bros. cartoons. Much later, we would say that we likely learned a taste for avant-garde music from Carl Stalling, the composer/arranger for many Warners classics.

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Our highest honor is not easily achieved. Anybody can be an asshole. Some can even be an asshole for years without meriting special recognition — Louie Gohmert may some day win an Anal Pear, but he’ll never qualify for a Crystal Douchebag. For he lacks a special quality only few possess: The ability to really fuck things up.

The nominees are: Newt Gingrich, who hasn’t worked an honest day in his life; Rupert Murdoch, who pulled off the hat trick of undermining Democracy on three continents; Grover Norquist, who doesn’t need to run for President because he already wields ultimate veto power over everything; and Donald Trump, who has been building a decades-long case for a severe Estate Tax.

And the winner is…

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