If you could go back a month — heck, let’s make it two weeks — and do things the right way, you could forget the troubling thoughts of the train plane wreck that disrupted everybody’s lives without warning. So just imagine tonight’s Preznidential Debate Open Thread/Do Over as the first such event of the season, and everything will be fine. Oh, and ignore the Demon Rabbit. We have no idea how it got there.
Title: “Here Come the Black Helicopters!: UN Global Governance and the Loss of Freedom”
Authors: Dick Morris and Eileen McGann
Rank: 47
Blurb: “Warning: Our national sovereignty and our freedom are in grave danger. Stealthily advancing, the globalists and socialists at the United Nations, and in the United States itself, are trying to dilute our national sovereignty, undermine our democratic values, and mandate massive transfers of our wealth and technology to third world countries.”
In this corner, a Ripped Filthy Liar whom we suspect has a glass jaw. And in this corner, a Hairplug-Studded Veteran whose best moments remind you of a vérité Curb Your Enthusiasm. We have no idea what to expect during tonight’s Veep Debate Open Thread/Mixed Mental Arts Competition. We just know it ain’t gonna be normal.
Title: “Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story”
Author: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Rank: 38
Blurb: “With Maria Shriver, he raised four fantastic children. In the wake of a scandal he brought upon himself, he tried to keep his family together.”
Review: “He adores Maria, but he also adores cars, and it’s hard not to notice that he describes his first customized Humvee with the same gushing voice he uses for his wife.”
Customers Also Bought: “I Hate Everyone… Starting with Me” by Joan Rivers
Footnote: Shame is for sissies.
Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]
Al Gore hides his brain in a lockbox, hilarity ensues.
We post this Cute Puppy Video in the hope that we can look forward, not back, and WE’VE LOST A POD! WE’VE LOST A POD! WE’VE LOST A POD! WE’VE LOST A POD! WE’VE LOST A POD!
Fuck. Conscience is a bitch.
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 BTW, has your favorite fundies gone to Ratpure?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Come on dude shut your mouth. Shut your mouth Never like to hear I take bribes Won't you please…
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.