If I see one more hot dog, I’m going to hurl. Time for a late night musical palate cleanser.

Sweet 8 pound 7 ounce baby Jesus, Lyle Lovett and John Hiatt can each play a guitar like there’s no tomorrow. Put them together and it’s magical. If their acoustic tour is coming to your town, run – don’t walk – to get tickets. The show is two incredibly talented and funny musicians with deep songwriting abilities sitting on stage with nothing but their wits and their guitars, chatting, jamming, picking the hell out of their guitars, and singing back up vocals on each other’s songs.

Most of the videos on the tubes of them are of crappy quality, so here is a clip from the Beeb of them playing to the Brits, with Joe Ely joining in. This doesn’t capture the improvisation they do in concert:

While it’s no doubt true that there’s nothing quite like a nice throbbing nine-incher, as I’m sure we can all agree, all this talk of sticky unreasoning insatiable rampant hardness could make one think that’s all there is to manhood: of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

Naturally, as a young lad, one was thrilled to discover one’s john-willy could go up and down and rushed at once to show mummy. And yes, over the years one has come across chaps who’ve taught theirs to carry out some pretty amazing and useful tasks: flip pancakes and imitate Shirley Bassey are just two that spring to mind. But there comes a time when we need to let go and realize there is more to life than playing with one’s erector set.

Which brings me to sissies.

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We really did plan on addressing this earlier, but as we wrote the Morning Blather, it developed just as presented. But thank God there’s fresh dirt to report.

And so, maestro, strike up the tympani!

Michele Bachmann’s new political chief Ed Rollins, Tuesday:

“Sarah has not been serious over the last couple of years. She got the Vice Presidential thing handed to her, she didn’t go to work in the sense of trying to gain more substance, she gave up her governorship.”

Ed Rollins, this morning:

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“Alec Baldwin is mulling a run for mayor of New York City now that kinky Congressman Anthony Weiner appears to have sexted himself out of the 2013 race. The ’30 Rock’ star, who has long talked about running for political office, believes Weinergate has shaken up the field of candidates enough that he might have a chance to win, a friend of the actor told The Daily.”

Now that that’s over…

No, wait, one more: Stop staring at my weapon!

Okay, we done? Because there are Grave Issues facing Our Exceptional Republic, and we really must be moving on. Even if we’re just a man with a raging hard-on and we’re so fucking hard right now and dunno, woke up sweaty… and hard and we were hoping my fat cock would be a selling point too and you will surely make noise when I take you deep.

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My life:

3-Way Street from ronconcocacola on Vimeo.

Are we done with bulging underwear yet? Because something like this would make us drop a load on the spot:

The state director of the conservative group Americans for Prosperity offered no apologies today for papering homes in Detroit’s Delray district Monday with fake eviction notices.

Bearing the words “Eviction Notice” in large type, the bogus notices told homeowners their properties could be taken by the Michigan Department of Transportation to make way for the New International Trade Crossing bridge project. The NITC is the subject of debate in Lansing, and Americans for Prosperity is lobbying heavily against it.

“It was meant to startle people,” Scott Hagerstrom, the group’s state director, said today. “We really wanted people to take notice. This is the time that their opinions need to be heard. We wanted people to read it.”

Please direct your angry mob to the AFP Michigan office at 222 W. Genesee Street, 2nd Floor, Lansing. Tell them you just want to startle them.

Conservative group: Fake eviction notices were ‘meant to startle people’ [Detroit Free Press]