We Just Can’t Quit You

I can’t read other people’s sex chats. I have enough trouble reading my own.

But. Way to keep it discreet, Anthony. Kudos, my man. Bragging about your Daily Show appearances to get off online. That’s not going to attract attention.

And plus: Why would anyone dress a dachshund like that? More to the point, why would the dog put up with it? I can just see any of mine consenting to such an indignity. There’d be shit on the carpet before you could say ‘raging hardon’.

Tumescent Tony is hilariously quotidian.

I’m new to the whole texting thing, but even I have enough sense to lay off the sexy time chatting… because phone sex is not my thing/social media is everywhere/no such thing as privacy on a wireless network.

@Benedick HRH KFC:
Wurd. Our dogs never crapped on the carpet when upset, but instead would glare at you and sulk for hours on end (like the human side of the family.)

I think it’s scary how the dog takes on the personality of the family.

@ManchuCandidate: Our two minis used to stage fecal extravaganzas. Our German standards don’t do that. Though one of them peed a lot: “Yeah, it’s my house. I’ll fucking pee where I fucking want.” Our present iteration keeps it real by barking, shrieking, howling, etc. And I might just take the little bugger to the park before it gets too hot.

nojo…i resemble that remark!!! and you know damn well which one. i’m too demure, as you all know, to elaborate.

Are there really guys what think of their peen as a “weapon”? I mean, I always thought of mine as a Stradivarius, but, you know, I’m special.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Referring to it as a weapon certainly speaks to their need to dominate and to exert power. I’m really not interested in someone who wants to use a “weapon” on me.

If we miss out on a catfight between Palin and Bachman because of this little weasel, I will be pissed.

@Mistress Cynica: Word. Although I have to confess I’m tickled by the total awkwardness of “you will surely make noise.”

@flippin eck: Yeah, too intellectual to really get down. Maybe that’s why he has to have these relationships over the internet.

@Mistress Cynica: Do you think Talibunny and Bachmann sext with, you know, online admirers?

@FlyingChainSaw:

“Ooohh, that’s a big TAX CUT FOR THE RICH you’ve got there…” ;)

@FlyingChainSaw: “Hell yeah, Sarah, which hole do you want it in?”

“All of ’em, Charlie!!!!”

@al2o3cr: @Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: I get so excited and surely make noise when you describe the end of social security to me in savage, relentless prose.

@Mistress Cynica: the only thing missing from the epic bachmann/palin title bout is howard cosell yelling “down goes palin, down goes palin” a la his call in one of the frazier/ali fights. just so nobody misses out on such, palin really did go down in this movie, for all those interested:

http://www.hustler.com/mansion1/palin_warning.php

NYT: Weiner’s Wife Is Pregnant

And you thought it couldn’t get worse.

@nojo: Oh dear mother of Thor.

I must say, I feel really bad for him. Yes he was incredibly dumb but still: to have one’s most secret/shameful (he is a Jew, after all) behavior reach the front pages and be the fodder for comedians’ dick jokes – and Jay Leno – is pretty tough. You can be a putz and do good work. Otherwise how would any of us get a paycheck? And yes, I cannot begin to think what his wife feels. After all, she’s being humiliated by actions that aren’t even hers. Instead of going out pole-dancing she made a career for herself and now what?

I would ask only one thing of congressman Weiner: are you waxing or creaming, bro, cuz you look fine.

@Benedick HRH KFC: And then there’s the Seattle college woman who, as far as we know, never saw the Dick Tweet, and never expected to see it.

Weiner’s a fool, but he’s messing up a lot of lives in the process.

@nojo: I know. You’re right. Monica Lewinski was forced to move to London. I think that says it all.

He should read his insurance policy and see if it pays off if he gets hits by a train and, if it does, go and do the right thing and catch the last one home with his face. Otherwise the kid will grow up as Turgid Tony’s Tot. The wife is doomed to be the sad Mrs Fucking Freak.

No, we’re not done yet…

Breibart:

This morning, I showed a photograph, which our source claims Weiner sent her, to radio hosts “Opie and Anthony” of the Sirius XM radio network on my mobile device. Somehow, without my knowledge or permission, apparently a picture was taken of my mobile device, and subsequently published by Opie (Gregg Hughes) on Twitter.

Breitbart calls it an “Illicit Capture and Release”. Going fishing?

@nojo: I feel sick.

@nojo: Oh it will shoot to 11 diapers if any of the women were underage.

@Mistress Cynica: Weiner is sooooo facing the wrath of Hillary now.

Breitbart is so scrupulous.

@Benedick HRH KFC: I think we’re burying the lead: Breitbart keeps cock shots on his iPhone.

Why, yes, that link is NSFW. Need you ask?

Demrats abandon sinking ship.

Yesterday, I didn’t really think it was a Resigning Offense. And it still isn’t, on its own terms. But Weiner’s pulling focus, and everyone would really like to get back to mocking Ryan’s junk.

Tweety, via Harry Shearer:

Just asked crowd in Philly, “how many think Congressman Weiner should stick it out?”

Time to start a Weiner Dead Pool?

All I can say is if I resigned every time I sent a picture of my kawk to some dude I would be living in the abandoned subway tunnels of New YorK City right now.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Might be different if you were a VP of MouseCo.

Rachel’s talking to Larry Flynt. No, really.

@nojo: He’s very like a talking Blancmange, isn’t he?

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Yes, but I don’t know how much of that is attributable to his shooting.

@nojo: I can’t imagine it’s very easy to get a lot of exercise when your spinal chord is severed.

@nojo: That’s who that is? Eww. Why? I mean. Why? Or. Why?

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Living in a tunnel instead of… ?

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: It’s not so much the dick-pic as it is the lying. How are his staff and colleagues supposed to trust him now? Once your credibility is gone, you’re toast.

@Benedick HRH KFC: If you missed the intro, Flynt’s responsible for Vitter being known as Diaper Man. Flynt’s also responsible for calling out Vitter’s predecessor — an impeachment leader — who promptly resigned when his Naughty Bits were exposed.

In both cases, a million-dollar reward made a great icebreaker.

Oh, dear…

Sadly, the Internet is the predator’s venue of choice today. We need to update our strategies and our laws to stop these offenders who are a mere click away from our children.

Weiner, cosponsoring the “KIDS (Keeping the Internet Devoid of Sexual Predators) Act” of 2007.

It doesn’t rate with family-values fornicators, but it makes a great punchline.