We Write Like Chuck Palahniuk, When We’re Not Writing Like H.P. Lovecraft

Interesting. The only thing of any length I have to throw at it is my thesis, which, given the constraints, is not really, well, what I write like.

I’m afraid I’m gonna get Dr. Seuss or some shit.

As long as I’m not compared to Anne Rice or that Twilight author, I’ll be happy.

@ManchuCandidate: +1

Shooting for Anaïs Nin or Pablo Neruda…

ADD: Faulkner or DFW ::sigh:: that would be awesome!

I got Margaret Atwood and was so thrilled I refuse to take it again. The real question: Who does FCS write like?

@JNOV: When proofing an federal appeals court brief for an attorney I worked for, I told him “Unless your name is William Faulkner, you are not allowed to have a sentence that goes on for a page and a half. ”
The 10th Circuit judges have no idea the horrors I spared them.

@Mistress Cynica: Haha! That was a mitzvah!

LOVING this photo and the alt text.

@Mistress Cynica: Actually, I’m sure they do. That sort of mind-numbing shit is, unfortunately, quite common for our profession.

I keep getting David Foster Wallace. Is that the dude who offed himself last year? I think I’m offended.

I supplied this site with several samples of my own writing, and it came up with a different answer each time. An enterprising friend fed it writing by the actual authors and it guessed wrong. A delightful entertainment, and nothing more. (FWIW, I got Palahniuk, as well as a few others I don’t recall.)

TJ: This is too funny to not share.

Sharron Angle Hires Mime as Campaign Spokesman

Actually, the whole linked site is hilarious – I particularly enjoyed “Abraham Lincoln Writes Back To Mark Williams”. :)

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I think Sept. ’08, but I’m not sure. DFW was amazing. So are you.

ADD: Yes, September 12, 2008.

ADDD: I’ve got Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself: A Road Trip with David Foster Wallace, but I’m not ready to go down that rabbit hole just yet.

@al2o3cr: I’m embarrassed to admit that I keep getting Sharron and Sherrod mixed up, to the point of which I’m ignoring stories about either one to save myself from total confusion. I chalking it up to undiagnosed dyslexia or something and moving on.

ADD: It’s sweet of the not-the-MSNBC ad to want me to “meet real guys,” but if one of the real guys in question is Joey Buttafuoco, per the center image, then no thank you.

@Mistress Cynica: Same here re Vonnegut.

Tell me you ran FCS through that shit. You have to have.

I got Stephen King.
is that good?

@Capt Howdy:

So did I. Obviously, our style is folksy, colloquial, and filled with disembowelment.

Stephen King apparently writes like J.K. Rowling.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Chainsaw’s latest has topnotes of Isaac Asimov.

@Mistress Cynica: I threw in two samples and it immediately responded Cory Doctorow. Both times.

@FlyingChainSaw: Talibunny’s ghostwriter also cops Doctorow, although her Shakespearean Refudiate Tweet invokes James Joyce.

Can’t disagree with the latter.

@flippin eck: My “real guy” is wearing a bandanna and a trucker hat.

HOLY SHIT! I GOT DAVID FOSTER WALLACE!

In other news, I had the coolest fucking 6th grade teacher EVER. I dare one of you to top that.

@JNOVjr: You really did. :-)

Haaaaaaahahahah, oh my god. Okay, so, first of all, Mom wanted me to post something I’d said earlier:

Mom (6:17:17 PM): Im surprised you didn’t comment on the lovecraft thread about your love for him
Me (6:18:18 PM): I was going to say something funny, but then I realized that I’d misread something crucial that tied the joke together
Mom (6:18:31 PM): ahhhh
Me (6:19:23 PM): See, what I’d thought was that they plugged in the thread about Palin and it came out as Lovecraft. I was gonna be like, “That’s a more fitting comparison [to Palin] than Shakespeare, considering he also invented new words and he was a racist”

Second, I just plugged in this quote from Glenn Beck:

Blaming TV or radio hosts for the nutjob who killed three Pittsburgh police officers over the weekend is like blaming a flight attendant after a terrorist takes down a plane. In other words: Giving passengers a safety talk to prepare them for a worst-case scenario doesn’t mean you are responsible should a terrorist make that worst-case scenario happen. One person is providing important information. The other is a nutjob who would’ve acted no matter what.

Who did I get? Dan Brown. A+

Oh, someone asked what blogs we read, Benedick, was that you? This is one of my faves — Pharyngula. If there were a god (apologies, deist friends), it would be biologist PZ Meyers, but he’d explain why he doesn’t exist. The comments are AWESOME!

@JNOVjr: Have you read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? If not — DON’T WIKI IT in case there are spoilers. We’ll get it through the Amazon kickback link. I think you’d really like it.

@JNOV: I have not. Get me this, too. Oh, and a copy of 1984.

@JNOVjr: Wait — you never read 1984? Animal Farm? Remember Babe? Babe is Animal Farm. I’ll get you all four…

@JNOVjr: Oh, wow — you have to share House of Leaves with me.

ADD: Also got you a Vonnegut novel that you’ll throw against the wall…

@JNOV: Which one?

@JNOVjr: Check to see if your library has the Recorded Book edition of 1984. I listened to it about a year ago and was totally freaked out!

@mellbell: Oh, I don’t want to spoil the surprise — it’s not any that usually comes to mind. I’ll message you on the Book of Faces.

@karen marie: I could totally see how that’s possible!

@JNOV: I wrote an essay on Animal Farm when I was at Delco. I’ve got a copy sitting on by bookshelf. Don’t ask why it’s not in it.

@karen marie: Lol, what makes the audio version freakier?

@JNOVjr: Oh, well, hell — I got you both in one set with an intro by Hitch. I think he’s perpetually drunk.

@JNOVjr: @karen marie: It’s kind of a spoiler.

@JNOV: Oh, okay. No spoilers, please.

@JNOVjr: I also want you to watch this and tell me what you think about it, especially Dawkins. I totally have a nerd crush on him.

@JNOV: I saw the first one, I think. Didn’t see the rest, though.

@JNOV: That was one of my college roommate’s books that I read so I could help him through a freshman lit class. Loved it. I never got through the follow up, whatever it was called.

/rubs ambien sleep from his eyes, sees TOO MUCH STUFF TO PACK all around/

@JNOVjr: The first series? These are things from the cutting room floor. The first series was as exciting as watching paint peel, but these discussions are So. Much. Better. I like Colin McGinn, too.

@Nabisco: It took me FOREVER to read it. I’d read some and then noodle what I’d read around for a day or two, read some more, etc.

ADD: Yeah, w/r/t the sequel. I’m kinda afraid it might suck. I liked the way the first one ended. Satisfaction.

@JNOV: Nah, the first interview. I forget who he was talking to.

@jr: let’s fire up the Wii and watch it.

@JNOV: We’ve still got other stuff to watch.