Title: “Star Wars Little Golden Book Library”

Rank: 47

Blurb: “Featuring stunning retro illustrations, this boxed set of six Little Golden Books is perfect for Star Wars fans of all ages!”

Review: “My 3-year old son is straight-up obsessed with these books. We used them as rewards during potty training. He goes an entire day wearing underpants and staying dry he gets a book.”

Customers Also Bought: “12 Monkeys”

Footnote: Please tell us the rumors about J.J. Abrams stuffing Jar Jar’s severed head in the desert are true.

Star Wars Little Golden Book Library [Amazon]

Happy Celebration of the Arrival of Refugees to the U.S., Stinquers! May you be blessed with a holiday feast that doesn’t involve gas-bag relatives raving about Ben Carson or asking “shouldn’t all lives matter?”

Title: “Lights Out: A Cyberattack, A Nation Unprepared, Surviving the Aftermath”

Author: Ted Koppel

Rank: 47

Blurb: “In this New York Times bestselling investigation, Ted Koppel reveals that a major cyberattack on America’s power grid is not only possible but likely, that it would be devastating, and that the United States is shockingly unprepared.”

Review: “As an individual who works in the space, Ted Koppel is full of it and himself. This book was written without the input of any expert or subject matter expert. Individuals with titles like ‘General’ and ‘Director’ may sound impressive but in reality know very little about cyber security. This would be like going to your local Geek Squad and asking them to help you troubleshoot a circuit you were building from scratch.”

Customers Also Bought: Prepper, Prepper, Prepper, Prepper, Prepper.

Footnote: For someone who made his national reputation fanning the flames of the Iran hostage crisis, we’re not surprised Ted Koppel would resort to this.

Lights Out [Amazon]

Early the morning of March 24, 1944 a German patrol pulled up to a home on the outskirts of in the Polish town of Markowa.  The Germans had been alerted by a local police constable to the fact that eight Jews, comprising members of two different families, had secretly been given shelter by Josef Ulma, a prominent citizen and the town librarian. The Germans surrounded the home, and after extracting the Jews shot all eight of them in the head on the spot. Not satisfied with this bloody deed, the Germans turned to the Ulma family themselves. For hiding Jews in defiance of German martial law, Joseph was shot.  The fact that Jospeh’s wife Wiktoria was his eight months pregnant, failed to soften the Soldier’s hearts and she was shot as well. Finally, the Nazis turned their attention to the UIma’s six children, now weeping loudly and profusely at the sight of their dead parents.  Methodically, mercilessly and in cold blood they were shot as well. The eldest of the Ulma children was eight years old. The youngest was but two. Read more »

Title: “Destiny and Power: The American Odyssey of George Herbert Walker Bush”

Author: Jon Meacham

Rank: 25

Blurb: “Drawing on President Bush’s personal diaries, on the diaries of his wife, Barbara, and on extraordinary access to the forty-first president and his family, Meacham paints an intimate and surprising portrait of an intensely private man who led the nation through tumultuous times.”

Review: “He may have been dealt a harsh blow by his debacle in the 1992 Presidential election which he lost decisively to someone he considered a ‘draft dodger’ for avoiding Vietnam War, but I’m sure history will treat him kindly and remember him as one of the best presidents America has ever had.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Triumph of William McKinley: Why the Election of 1896 Still Matters” by Karl Rove

Footnote: Two words: Dan Quayle.

Read more »

Title: “Crippled America: How to Make America Great Again”

Author: Donald Trump

Rank: 23

Blurb: “Look at the state of the world right now. It’s a terrible mess, and that’s putting it mildly. There has never been a more dangerous time.”

Review: “I have yet to read the book, but included in my order was a hand written note that stated ‘you are truly idiotio for purchasing this book F*** you’.”

Customers Also Bought: “Stealing America: What My Experience with Criminal Gangs Taught Me about Obama, Hillary, and the Democratic Party” by Dinesh D’Souza

Footnote: We’re sorry — who are you again? You say you’re running for President? You the supplement shill with the pyramids and the Jesus buddy painting and the stabbed friend and advice for armed robbers to shoot helpless clerks? No? Never mind.

Crippled America [Amazon]

Title: “100 Deadly Skills: The SEAL Operative’s Guide to Eluding Pursuers, Evading Capture, and Surviving Any Dangerous Situation”

Author: Clint Emerson

Rank: 9

Blurb: “In today’s increasingly dangerous world, threats to your personal safety are everywhere. From acts of terror to mass shootings, and from the unseen (and sometimes virtual) matrix of everyday crime, danger is no longer confined to dark alleys or unstable regions. Potentially life-threatening circumstances can arise anywhere, anytime, and Clint Emerson — former Navy SEAL — wants you to be prepared.”

Read more »