I Have to Wee Wee in the Jar Jar

Meesa horny.Title: “Star Wars Little Golden Book Library”

Rank: 47

Blurb: “Featuring stunning retro illustrations, this boxed set of six Little Golden Books is perfect for Star Wars fans of all ages!”

Review: “My 3-year old son is straight-up obsessed with these books. We used them as rewards during potty training. He goes an entire day wearing underpants and staying dry he gets a book.”

Customers Also Bought: “12 Monkeys”

Footnote: Please tell us the rumors about J.J. Abrams stuffing Jar Jar’s severed head in the desert are true.

Star Wars Little Golden Book Library [Amazon]

I hope JJ does a much better job than he did with Lost or Alias or the Star Trek revival movies. He’s good at setting up but not finishing.

If Benedict Cumberbatch appears in the end as the villain White Khan as a twist then I predict “I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.”

I’m joking about the last part… sort of.

@ManchuCandidate: I think the Batsignal just went off in Blogenfreude’s Stately Manhattan Penthouse.

@nojo: well, I’m not going to judge, especially when someone is so completely wrong. I loved that Star Trek movie – it pushed every 8-year old button I have left. And I finally got my birthday present and saw SPECTRE. Daniel Craig is the best Bond yet, Casino Royale has been my favorite Bond movie thus far (followed by Skyfall) but SPECTRE is at least as good a movie. Bond goes rogue, Bond wrecks Aston, Bond drives DB5, (spoilers hereafter) Christoph Waltz turns out to be Blofeld, and a return is set up if Daniel Craig will do the fifth movie he contracted for.

@ManchuCandidate: oh, and have I ever told you my theory on what happened with Lost? 1) hire writers; 2) produce 3 good seasons; 3) fire first set of writers; 4) hire new writers but do not show them the first 3 seasons. It’s the only plausible explanation.

I will say, for the record, that Abrams made 1.5 good Trek movies, which is a much better batting average than Lucas’s 2 for 6.

ADD: Or 1 for 4, if you wanna be strict about it.

@nojo: I thought 2 and 3 were OK, if overlong. Empire was as good as it was because he hired a screenwriter – Lawrence Kasdan. And guess who’s co-writing (written, if you want to be strict) the seventh movie? Kasdan. It. Will. Work.

@blogenfreude: Return? Formerly Revenge, until someone chickened out? Ewoks. No forgiveness. Never.

And the prequels? Only Lucas could make Sam Jackson a boring stiff.

@nojo: midi-chlorians did me in. Are you fucking kidding me? And I believe we have had a version of this conversation before. But the rage is strong in this one.

We bought our daughter the boxed set of the 1st six to give to her for Christmas. We will probably binge on the 26th and then go see the 7th at the theater on the 27th. At least that is plan.

The newscasters keep praising the San Bernardino police for how well they have responded to an active shooter situation. Imagine how much they must have trained for it, because it was just a matter of time before it happened there. Fuck.

@mellbell: The CBC interviewed one of the officers first on the scene, and he said that nothing can really prepare you for the carnage and sensory overload.

The kids and teachers train for them in schools also, which is really heartbreaking.

I’m going on a news break over the weekend, since it looks like the nation is tailspinning into insanity again.

On Monday, I’m gonna find some happy news–it must exist, right? Maybe some fluffy British lifestyle stories on the BBC radio? I caught one the other day about exploding Chinese hoverboards–no spoilers.

I enjoyed the first JJ Trek movie. It wasn’t bad. My main quibbles were it had a command structure much like Starship Troopers (hey you wannabe Captain? Sure, why not? okay) and the fact he built a 300K ton starship on the ground (despite going ON AND ON AND ON about how accurate the science was.) On the bright side, my comments about that ignited the first ever Nerd fight on io9.

The 2nd movie was too much crap. White Khan is still my favorite JJ Trek punchline. Probably beat it death.

No one ever is.

And the nudity prudes would have you think that seeing boobs and peen (and interacting) on the TV or film is even worse than blood/guts.

@mellbell: FFS, should we be surprised that the capitalists thought of bullet proof nap blankets for preschoolers?


@nojo, blogenfreude, ManchuCandidate: But what about General Leia kicking ass and taking names on Good Morning America? I can only imagine how hilarious she was in the early ’80s when she was coked out.

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