DUCKY! DUCKY, DID YOU SEE MY DRAPES? NO! OH, DUCKY, COME WITH ME AND SEE MY DRAPES!

The New York Times spent last week ringing the switch board at the White House asking for random extensions and giving anyone who answered the phone a chance to tell their reporters what a complete piece of shit Trump is and everyone had a story to tell.

Why?

Because this piece of shit is a FUCKING! MORON! and if you’re not calling everyone from the dog catcher to the president of the EU asking for TRUMPLIGULA! to be banished to Angola, you’re part of the problem.

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A Florida golf course owned by CRIMINALLY! INSANE! PIECE! OF! SHIT! President Donald Trump has been ordered to immediately pay $5.77 million to former members who were denied refunds when the HATED, ODIOUS TRUST FUND TWIT bought the club five years ago, according to the Huffington Post.

HERO AND MAN-GOD U.S. District Judge Kenneth Marra ruled that Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter violated contracts that members had signed with the previous owner and were assumed by Trump when he bought the club in 2012. The average payment is expected be about $87,000 for each of the 65 members involved in the case. The members were awarded $4.8 million, plus $925,000 in interest.

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Donald Trump was not prepared to be president.

This comes as no surprise. Trump, like everyone else, expected himself to lose Election Night. He had made no study of the office or its responsibilities. He had no previous government or governing experience, not even vaguely relevant experience running a large bureaucracy like a corporation. He was a complete political novice.

He had no idea what shit he was stepping into.

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The entire civilized world and space aliens are completely aghast at the psychotic horror the that gained control of the White House and could incinerate the world in a heartbeat for savage amusement.

The imbecilic, self-satisfied trust fund-twit at the helm is but the ridiculous embodiment of all that makes Baby Boomers the most odious instantiation of human beings ever to curse the surface of the earth.

No, he is merely a chew toy and mouthpiece for the rank, twisted musings of the uber criminal Steve Bannon who lives and breaths to wreak chaos upon the innocent to prove to the universe that he qualifies as a human being.

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WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump warned in a phone call with his Mexican counterpart that he was ready to send U.S. troops to stop “bad hombres down there” unless the Mexican military does more to control them, according to an excerpt of a transcript of the conversation obtained by The Associated Press.

The excerpt of the call did not detail who exactly Trump considered “bad hombres,” nor did it make clear the tone and context of the remark, made in a Friday morning phone call between the leaders. It also did not contain Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto’s response. Mexico denies that Trump’s remarks were threatening. Read more »

AMERICA! You have inspired the accession of a CALIGULAN! ORANGUTAN! to the seat of Emperor without any fallback plan, you know, in case that wasn’t such a good fucking idea.

While TRUMPLIGULA! flings his moo with increasingly randomity and rage, we can only guess how this will end. In the following poll, we’ve omitted the obvious: thermonuclear war, nuclear winter and the end of life on earth.

The rest of the choices are more palatable and a good deal more entertaining.

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