Gub-mint is broken, and this confessed adulterer will fix it!

I took Dodger and Ms. Dodger on a road trip north to Point Reyes. Despite the sign, we kept walking.

“There are many reasons Apple has not spent its cash hoard, but I’ll bet anything that one of them is the uncertain economic and tax environment in this country.” —The Mustache of Understanding, proudly displaying his utter ignorance of Apple’s history of recovering from a near-bankruptcy, high profit margins from skyrocketing gadget sales, and famous practice of not spending that mushrooming cash hoard unless there’s a damn good reason. Oh, and that American manufacturing plant they’re planning to open this year. [NYT]

“CPAC is coming! Prepare your battleships, patriots. On March 14, the 2013 Conservative Political Action Conference descends upon innocent Americans in order to spread the goodness of Dick Morris, movies sponsored by Citizens United and the liberty of fracking. Woo hoo! But once again, there’s trouble in paradise, because once again, CPAC gave GOProud the boot. They invited Wayne La Pierre this year (along with Ralph Reed and conspiracy theorist Ben Shapiro) and last year, they had white supremacist John Derbyshire, but gays are too divisive.” [Politicus USA]

Title: “Petrus Romanus: The Final Pope Is Here”

Authors: Thomas Horn and Cris D. Putnam

Rank: 53

Blurb: “For more than 800 years scholars have pointed to the dark augury having to do with ‘the last Pope.’ The prophecy, taken from St. Malachy’s ‘Prophecy of the Popes,’ is among a list of verses predicting each of the Roman Catholic popes from Pope Celestine II to the final pope, ‘Peter the Roman,’ whose reign would end in the destruction of Rome… According to the prophecy, the next pope (following Benedict XVI) is to be the final pontiff.”

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The first one is terrifying:

“A Florida personal injury lawyer has filed a federal lawsuit against Hewlett-Packard on behalf of rock and roll icon Ernest Evans, better known as Chubby Checker, over an app developed for webOS that ‘adversely affects Chubby Checker’s brand and value…’ That app, called the ‘Chubby Checker,’ allows users to enter a man’s shoe size to estimate the size of his penis.” [Ars Technica]