Title: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies: A Book of Zombie Christmas Carols ”

Author: Michael P. Spradlin

Rank: 1,693

Blurb: “Christmas is on its way — and all the little boys and ghouls are dreaming of stockings filled with candied eyes and bleeding body parts.”

Review: “What really seals the deal is the zombie using his own intestines to decorate the Christmas tree.”

Customers Also Bought: “Glow In The Dark Zombies Playset”

Footnote: Searching for “zombies” at Amazon yields 50,390 results.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies [Amazon]

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Title: “How the Left Swiftboated America: The Liberal Media Conspiracy to Make You Think George Bush Was the Worst President in History”

Author: John Gibson

Rank: 533

Blurb: “The swiftboating of George W. Bush began in 2000 and continued throughout his presidency, involving his response to 9/11, the Iraq War, warrantless wiretapping, enhanced interrogation techniques, the Surge, uranium from Niger, the number of deaths in Iraq, the federal response to Katrina, and much, much more.”

Review: “I don’t recall ANY liberal media in America in my lifetime.”

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Title: “Tiger Traits: 9 Success Secrets You Can Discover From Tiger Woods to Be a Business Champion”

Author: Nate Booth

Rank: 406,315

Blurb: “Tiger Woods’ success in golf (and in life) is not an accident.”

Review: “Nate Booth’s Tiger Traits has a wonderful way of exposing the tiger inside each of us.”

Customers Also Bought: “Training a Tiger: A Father’s Guide to Raising a Winner in Both Golf and Life,” by Earl Woods

Footnote: Tiger Trait #6: “Let Actions Do the Talking.”

Tiger Traits [Amazon]

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Title: “Last Words: A Memoir”

Author: George Carlin, with Tony Hendra

Rank: 57

Blurb: “In 1993 George Carlin asked his friend and bestselling author [and founding National Lampoon editor] Tony Hendra to help him write his autobiography. For almost fifteen years, in scores of conversations, many of them recorded, the two discussed Carlin’s life, times, and evolution as a major artist. When Carlin died at age seventy-one in June 2008 with the book still unpublished, Hendra set out to assemble it as his friend would have wanted.”

Review: “Okay, so I AM biased. BUT! I even learned things about my dad that I didn’t know.” (Kelly Carlin)

Customers Also Bought: “Going Rogue: An American Life,” by Sarah Palin

Footnote: If George Carlin can make it into the Amazon Top 100, there’s hope.

Last Words [Amazon]

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Title: “Still Standing: The Untold Story of My Fight Against Gossip, Hate, and Political Attacks”

Author: Carrie Prejean; foreword by Sean Hannity

Rank: 6,175

Blurb: “Carrie Prejean endured the hellish nightmare that the liberal media can inflict on anyone who disagrees with their agenda, but her faith, courage, and conviction have made her a role model for how we can stare down the bullies of political correctness and reclaim our God-given rights to freedom of speech, thought, and conscience.”

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Title: “Going Rogue: An American Life”

Author: Attributed to Sarah Palin

Rank: 1

Blurb: “In this eagerly anticipated memoir, Palin paints an intimate portrait of growing up in the wilds of Alaska; meeting her lifelong love; her decision to enter politics; the importance of faith and family; and the unique joys and trials of life as a high-profile working mother. She also opens up for the first time about the 2008 presidential race, providing a rare, mom’s-eye view of high-stakes national politics — from patriots dedicated to ‘Country First’ to slick politicos bent on winning at any cost.”

Customer Tags: keeping america stupid, quitter, sea of pee, premarital sex, idiocracy, narcissistic personality disorder, epic fail, pig vomit, waste of a good tree, book to nowhere, clown car, 15 minutes are up, conservative blowup doll, english as a second language, novelty toilet paper, queen of the crackpots, shallow end of the gene pool, i can see her career dying from my house

Customers Also Bought: “Sarah Palin 2012 You Betcha! Button”

Footnote: Available Tuesday. You can run, but you can’t hide.

Going Rogue [Amazon]

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Title: “The Book of Genesis Illustrated”

Author: R. Crumb

Rank: 22

Blurb: “Originally thinking that he would do a take off of Adam and Eve, Crumb became so fascinated by the Bible’s language, ‘a text so great and so strange that it lends itself readily to graphic depictions,’ that he decided instead to do a literal interpretation using the text word for word.”

Review: “So what is it, in the end? A guilt-ridden Catholic boy trying to atone for the excesses that made him famous in the first place?”

Customers Also Bought: “Trotsky: A Graphic Biography,” by Rick Geary

Footnote: Stinque Advisory Warning: No tits.

The Book of Genesis Illustrated [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]