So, how’s your bracket doing?

Ohhhhhhhh. We’re soooooo sorry.

Actually, no. See, we copped Nate Silver’s bracket, and Yahoo tells us we’re doing better than 97 percent of losers. But not as well as Libertarian Tool, who copped Our Preznit’s bracket, and is claiming the title of Most Resented Bracketeer.

(Please note: Showing humility doesn’t work. That just makes the rest of us hate you even more.)

Anyway, now that it’s been publicly proven that you suck, Bracket Queen Mellbell has graciously provided you the opportunity to suck again — with the Stinque Losers Braquet!

Just drop by Yahoo Sports and sign your doom thusly:

Group ID: 6376
Password: eventhelosers

You have until — well, shit, we dunno. We’re just in it for the sadism.

Is it a coincidence that the NCAA basketball logo bears a striking resemblance to the Islamic star and crescent? Is it any more a coincidence than a year ago, when wingnuts made a fuss about the U.S. Missile Defense Agency logo? Can we get more hits than Stinque Asshole of the Year Pam Geller by raising the spectre of Sharia Law’s ban on shooting threes when a man is open inside? Can you hear us now, Drudge?

While you’re cowering in fear, you’re also invited to participate in our annual Spectacular March Madness Pool, brought to you by Mellbell. To join the Stinque Braquet, visit Yahoo Sports and enter the Secret Codes:

Group ID: 129942
Password: thedance

Winners will be resented, while losers will be publicly castigated. Good luck!

Hey dog lovers, cheer for the Cane Corso!

And more Best in Show moments:

Today is Day One of the Greatest Event to be at Madison Square Garden, to wit, the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.

Tonight is the judging of the Hound, Toy, Non-Sporting, and Herding breeds. Tomorrow night is Sporting, Working, and Terrier breeds, and of course, Best in Show.  The poodle better not win.

I can’t decide who my all-time favorite Best in Show is. I was there when Josh the Newfie won, and who could forget Uno the Beagle?

[WKC Dog Show Info]

[Best in Show (movie)]

Yes, friends: it is that time again.  Violence and committee meetings, together with overeating, commercialism, and lowbrow humor.  All the things that make America THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH, wrapped in a neat four-hour package (which expands to a twelve-hour unholy mess if you count the pregame dreck on Fox).  So welcome to Stinque’s Third Annual Super Bowl Liveblog, reporting on the big game between —

Wait a second.  One of the things that does not make America THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH is socialism.  And, what’s this?  Organized labor?  Collective bargaining?  Bad faith negotiation tactics?  Work stoppage?

Yes, indeed. We are facing a deadline (3 March) for the League and the NFLPA to ink a new contract.  Under the current deal, the players take 59.6% of league munnie, and the inter-club revenue sharing deal make the haves (Patsies, HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS, etc.) subsidize the have-nots (for example, Cleveland).  In other words, SOCIALISM!  For this red menace in our midst, the owners have built massive stadia (often with a little help, or total and complete backing, from local taxpayers).  The old deal signed in 2006 just does not fit the modern spirit, then.

Thus you have it that, with this negotiation, the owners want major concessions (to the tune of about $1.4bn by one estimate).  They also want two more games in the regular season (from 16 to 18).  The players, in response, asked the clubs to open up the books and demonstrate claimed economic distress — to which the League said, diplomatically, “no dice.”  Which leads us to conclude that this may be the last professional football game we see for a long, long time.  If the lockout lasts into August, as it might, the NHL Memorial Doomsday Scenario — the cancellation of a whole season — starts to become real.

But enough unhappy talk.  Somebody’s going to get beaten to a pulp tonight — follow along after the jump with this liveblog as we find out who.

Read more »

New York Jets QB “Mark Sanchez’s 17-Year-Old Lady Friend Has Found A Lawyer.” Just like Big Ben, but hopefully without the rape part. [Deadspin]

As a native of Eugene, Oregon, home of America’s Collegiate Losers, we’ve always had a wary perspective about the Autumn Attention Whore. During our blessed youth, the local team sucked, which was fine by us: Plenty else to do rather than worry about the results of sporting contests you can’t control.

But this is, alas, America, and even art museums can’t resist betting on the outcome of a match between two professional teams whose combined annual salaries surely dwarf their capital endowments:

Both museums are offering up significant impressionist paintings: The Carnegie Museum of Art has wagered Pierre Renoir’s playful, fleshy Bathers with a Crab (circa 1890-99) on a Pittsburgh Steelers victory. The Milwaukee Art Museum has put on the line Gustave Caillebotte’s serene Boating on the Yerres (1877).

Now before you start ranting about The End of Civilization As We Know It, bear in mind that the bet involves loans, not exchanges of possession. And if you’re wondering when the Packers moved to Milwaukee, there’s a simple explanation:

Green Bay doesn’t have an art museum.

We have a Super Bowl bet! [ArtInfo, via Kottke]