Good morning Stinquers! Serolf here. Been up for a while already, surfing the web for headlines so you don’t have to. Providing a service so you don’t have to waste hours trolling cyberspace. I’ve found the best headlines this morning and discarded the rest. And by best, of course, I mean the most awful, cryptic, tasteless and sad.

Let’s begin with the New York Post, which this morning informs us: “‘O TO EUROS’ BE MES AMIS AGAIN.” Yes, in the mind of some editor at the New York Post, that random grouping letters  bi-sected by colon conveys information. But to everyone else, I wager, it’s like a word scramble where all the letters are in the right place and it still makes fuck all sense. Oh, “mes amis” is French? Oh, the word “euros” does not refer to the currency? Er, whatever. Maybe it’s in code… Rupert Murdoch’s secret wingnut code. They send you the decoder ring with your subscription, I’ll bet.

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“Today there’s another sucking sound going on in Washington, D.C. And that’s the tightening of sphincters on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.” (Rep. Steve LaTourette, R-Ohio, Thursday)

“From my standpoint, it’s irresponsible for corporations to give bonuses at this time when they’re sucking the tit of the taxpayer.” (Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, Tuesday)

The deathwatch at Big Newsprint continues — the Seattle Post-Intelligencer is on the ropes, and the referee is looking somewhat concerned.  Possibly by the end of the week, if not sooner.

Notably, the second major metropolitian newspaper to go down in recent days is, like the first, in a two-newspaper town. So there’s that. But still.

Well, it’s come to this. Nightly Special Comments from KO for the duration.

1. If they are nightly, they properly can’t be called “special” anymore, really.

2. I fear for this man’s health. Perhaps this would prevent him from having an aneurysm, in that he can vent the energy. But him blowing a gasket on national teevee is now a possibility. Pray for him.

You thought that snoozer the other night was the final time Obama and McCain faced off on the hard-hitting issues of the day?  Oh-ho no, children.  As any ardent fan of West Wing knows, the Al Smith Dinner is the make-or-break moment of any Presidential campaign.

After the jump, both candidates’ speeches for your consideration.

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“Flyers Aim To Keep Black Philadelphians From Polls”

Well, they have been doing good in the preseason, so why can’t the Broad Street Bullies branch out and do some vote rigging?

Especially noteworthy was the standing O from Dumbledore.

[Reuters]