Killing The Goose Laying Golden Eggs

Well, it’s come to this. Nightly Special Comments from KO for the duration.

1. If they are nightly, they properly can’t be called “special” anymore, really.

2. I fear for this man’s health. Perhaps this would prevent him from having an aneurysm, in that he can vent the energy. But him blowing a gasket on national teevee is now a possibility. Pray for him.


I did not know Keith blogged at the Great Orange Satan. Nice.

“Great Orange Satan”
Isn’t that Geezer’s nickname for KO?

Barbie contradicts the Old Man again.

I was just watching Keith and worrying about a Peter-Finch-in-Network moment. I hope he’s taking something for his blood pressure.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: That’s just flat out insane. These people shouldn’t be allowed to drive cars, much less vote.

They’re special because they’re by Keith, like when a loved one bakes you a cake. Rachel is the rich, bracing cup of coffee that goes with the cake.

@Mistress Cynica: They teh crazy, but, thats the internet, there’s a place for everyone, even the batshit crazy. Halloween gets that type crazy, they hate it, a pagan thing, they say, part of an anti-christian conspiracy, along with Harry Potter. And we are entering into “war in christmas” season where you can be attacked for saying “happy holidays.”

Yup, we sure do have more than a healthy mix of ignorance and superstition in this society.

Thats why we need an Ark, or that commune in New Mexico, RML can find us the place, much cheaper than a ship, I have to admit.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: “Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D.”

From now on, please call me Dr. JNOV, JD. It makes me sound more important and teh book smart.

I told Junior JNOVJr. about the witchy Kenyan witches (see how much worse they sound?), and he approves of witchcraft and any means necessary as means. Oh, not that Hopey needs it, he adds.

@Promnight: Only if we have a lake or something. I can’t be more than 2 hours away from a large body of water.

@JNOV: Storrie Lake near my inlaws’ ranch was created by buying out and flooding my father in law’s wheat fields. They have wind surfing and fishing there. We have a funny family story about that place involving a civic fireworks show gone wrong.

@rptrcub: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! FSM, I hope the meds kick in soon, cuz I’m really rattled over here. Poor bear cub. Poor United States. We’re fucking poverty struck when it comes to political discourse.

@redmanlaw: So that means there aren’t any eels in there, then, right? I don’t do eels. Non-poisonous snakes are okay, but eels I can’t deal with.

Eels are the most harmless things on earth, be way more afraid of water moccasins. The eel’s life cycle is a flat out miracle, especially since the japanese market for elvers has people even here in backwoods NJ netting all the tiny baby eels in tiny streams so they can put them on jets to Tokyo, when they were supposed to travel down their little stream to the ocean and find their way thousands of miles, little specks of protoplasm, swimming to the middle of the Atlantic, the sargasso sea, to return to that same little stream years later as adults. Amazing creatures.

Obama is going to Hawaii to be with his grandmother who may well be dying. Events are cancelled for the next two days.

@Promnight: @JNOV: But if there are eels, Prom can make us yummy unagi.

TJ: Apparently McCain has slaves in the family. They’re supporting Obama.

@rptrcub: Beyond horrifying. Of course, that is Eric whatsisname-the-bomber country.

Don’t read the what the Freepers or LGF say or you might lose your shit.

As for them. The RW insanity might be what wakes up US America from it’s fat induced slumber.

@Promnight: I’ve been fishing and caught eels. Do not want. Esp the gooey ones. Non-poisonous snakes don’t phase me. Eels creep me out.

@Lyndon LaDouche: Sadness.

@Mistress Cynica: I am one of those freaks who doesn’t eat anything from the water. I don’t know why. Shrimp is kind of okay, but I don’t care for fishes and their pals. I’ve even tried shark.

@JNOV: Now I have an opening to throw up a big long Achewood quote, one of the characters, Ray, who is me, is a cooking fiend, and loves Food Network, here is his Q&A to someone who doesn’t like fish:

I have a question for you about getting to know seafood. Most of my life I haven’t really liked it that much, and I’ve limited my fish-eating to salmon and maybe some crab, if it’s all mashed up with some cream cheese and there’s something deep-fried in or around it to make it crunchy (this is not very healthy). [R]ecently I’ve been trying to expand my horizons in this regard, but I don’t know where to start. Oysters and clams are probably pretty good, but they kind of gross me out visually and also when I think about where they live and what they eat- same with octopi, lobster, shrimp etc. Can you help me get over this? What would you recommend to a non-seafood lover to get them started?
Sushi-less Sara

Dear Sara,

Most folks have a seafood issue because parents don’t feed kids top-quality [i.e. more expensive] fish, and the kids end up choking down rancid hateful salmon which the purveyor carried back out of the grocery store at gunpoint and sold to your elementary school cafeteria for pennies on the original asking price. Ever wonder why your lunch ladies were so grumpy? Because they got up at four AM to buy terrible fish for children they hated who would hate it. Talk about your circles of life.

Anyhow, ain’t you even think about starting with oysters and clams. That is blue square territory. We want to get you goin’ safely into green circle, here, which means a couple different things. First, you got to try fish and chips. Sure, this is fried and unhealthy, but on the inside is cod, which is a gateway fish. Once you have had cod (use the provided vinegar and tartar sauce to dip and even out any strong fish flavor), you are ready to move on to a little sassier of a player, namely monkfish. Monkfish has the firm texture of poached chicken, a light flavor, and is only served at expensive places so you know it will be cooked right. This dish should cost from $18 to $38, depending on whether or not you live in Manhattan.

After you eat on some monkfish, I want you to turn in a circle and shake your own hand, ‘cause you are approaching blue square territory. Your next step is to take a breather and just eat some delicious grilled shrimp. I ain’t talkin’ about the ammonia-marinated sea jerky you find in won-ton soup, I mean somethin’ fat and grilled, the size of a three-knuckle thumb or better. Find these at an Italian dinner restaurant which doesn’t allow shorts. You’ll know you’re in good hands.

I’m glad I could help you get to the next level in your seafood appreciation. It’s all about baby steps, slowly getting friendly with an enemy your young body (rightly) told you would kill you. It might help you to think of that big first piece of fried cod as Amnesty International, and maybe you could draw a candle surrounded in barbed wire on it using a squeeze bottle of tartar sauce. Just a thought.


Don’t worry about KO’s health. Enduring two more weeks of aggravation with minor irritants like the McCains and Palins of the world pales beside the ecstasy of the Red Sox being dethroned. I’m sure a die-hard Yankees fan like Keith is doing these nightly special comments as a release for a whole year’s worth of anguish suddenly ended.

It’s a lot like the feeling we’re anticipating on November 5.

@ManchuCandidate: I went to LGF this weekend, but I could not do FreeRepublic or Townhall. First I have to build up my resistance with lesser wingnut blogs.

@Promnight: Yes, but I’ve had the expensive stuff. And you know what it tasted like to me? It tasted like fish. I can choke down fish sticks with tartar sauce. I’ve even cooked orange roughy. Do not want. I’m just weird like that. I did have some awesome BBQ’d shrimp, but I was drunk. A fat cheeseburger with a slice of pork roll from some dive in Margate tastes great when you’re drunk (and maybe high). Hell, it tastes great when you’re sober.

@JNOV, JD: As my esteemed colleague Mr. Prom, JD, pointed out, the Eel is a migratory fish. The spotting, let alone the catching of a Eel, in New Mexico waters is quite a rare occurrence due to the damming and occasional dewatering of the major rivers in New Mexico. I’ve only ever heard of one eel in New Mexico, which was caught off a bridge in Espanola, NM, about 30 miles north of here, on a tributary of the Rio Grande.


@rptrcub: The Dia de los Muertos candles at my St. Francis altar with furbaby’s ashes have been lit for la abuelita de Obama (Unicorn calls her Tutu, which I find adorable).

As far as I’m concerned, you’re all LL.M.’s with an attitude problem.

OMG, I just saw the re-run of Keiff O’s Special Comment. I’m feeling tingly all over when he went after Michelle Bachman.

Jamie Sommers, look out….I might make a move on your teevee boyfriend.

@baked: Did you see our boyfriend Jon Stewart’s line about Colin Powell being a militant hanging out with terr-ists with the picture of Powell in uniform and then the photo w/ Arafat?

ADD: And oh he went there with NYC and DC being “Ground Zero” for not-real-America.

YES! i love him so. the palin bashing was also the funniest so far.
and the ancient one’s “new” stump speech? he-larious.

i’ve been worried about keith for some time. he needs meds STAT.
and did you see stephen having a tough time staying in character?
he was about to bust trying not to laugh!

@JNOV: You know I grew up in OCNJ, right?

Ocean City or Ocean County? Cape May, thats harsh. I just moved from Somers Point, I lived across from Kennedy Park, high banks, down the street from the Crab Trap? You’ll know those if you are talking Ocean City, otherwise, we can talk Ocean County, where I grew up.

@baked: Like the grad degree for lawyers, I think. Someone started throwing around the letters after names.
Cynica, MLIS.

@baked: One of our attorneys has an LL.M., on top of a law degree earned in England. Not sure if it was required for him to practice law here or what, but that’s my only experience with it.

@mellbell: At my law school, you would get an LLM if you “majored” in tax, federal taxation.

@Prommie: The only LL.M.s I knew were tax attorneys who got one after their law degree.

RML=Board Certified Specialist in Federal Indian Law

Obscure References Explained: The University of Oregon law school began its life offering an LL.M., or maybe even an LL.B. Thanks to degree inflation, everyone was retroactively upgraded to a JD.

christ. i thought we were talking about fish and that was some code about about our gastronomical bad attitudes HA!

LLMs can be awarded in any subject a school feels like creating a program for. Most people with LLMs have them in tax, but you can get them in international law, corporate governance & practice or law, science and technology.

(playing catch up in the comments…)

@lynnlightfoot: Thanks. (Not sure what I said to inspire the love). glad to see you back…

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